My Ruin to You - Chapter 4

How utterly naive that was.

The academy was but a tiny microcosm of the empire. Even if she joined the Magical Affairs Bureau by her own merit, as long as she didn’t let go of Valen’s hand, the label would never disappear. Every achievement of hers would be wrapped up as something derived from the Grand Duke, and her existence would be buried somewhere beneath that packaging.

It wasn’t Valen’s fault.

It wasn’t the fault of a kind, perfect Valen—it was hers, twisted beyond the point of being able to accept his love. Her tattered self-esteem, barely holding onto the seat beside him, and the pitiful emotions left in the end were simply too much to bear.

So it was right to end it here. Before she resented Valen, before her wretched inferiority complex twisted any further.

◇◇◇

“Young Lady!”

As soon as Roseline stepped out of the main building, Lina’s booming voice greeted her.

“Oh, heavens! Our pretty young lady’s face is half gone!”

Lina came rushing toward Roseline, her red braids bouncing wildly with each step.

“The servants aren’t allowed inside the building, so I couldn’t even go in—you have no idea how worried I’ve been! Are you alright now?”

Her freckled cheeks twisted with worry.

“No, I’m so hungry I could die.”

“Let’s hurry back. I borrowed the kitchen and laid out a feast—enough to break the table legs!”

“You really are the best maid.”

“Oh, now you’re just stating the obvious.”

Lina was the maid who had come up from the estate with her. Though Roseline had tried to dissuade her—after all, she could barely afford to feed herself, let alone pay wages—Lina had just snorted and said, “You think the mistress would take care of me properly?”

Her stepmother truly was a piece of work. Lina could have quit, but she stubbornly stayed, saying, “Just because you’re broke doesn’t mean you’ve got no pride.” She never shied away from hard work, insisting that if not for the trust and help Roseline’s late mother had given her, her sick younger brother would have died without ever receiving treatment.

Even as rumors and slander swirled around Roseline, enough to make any maid cower, Lina always walked with her chin held high. More than once, she’d shaken her fist at someone badmouthing Roseline and chased them off.

“What happened today?”

“How’s the rumor spreading?”

“That bastard’s throwing a fit, claiming you attacked him out of nowhere—what a load of crap. As if you’d pick a fight for no reason!”

“He said if I swayed my hips enough, he’d invest in me like His Highness does. How could I let that slide?”

“Should’ve beaten him harder. Oughta cut off his family line while you were at it. Bastard.”

“Keep the insults quiet. You’ll get arrested for defaming nobility.”

Roseline raised a finger to her lips and glanced around. Lina mimicked her, then nodded in understanding before leaning in to whisper once more: “Next time, skip the magic and just kick him right in the—got it?”

Under the autumn sun, Roseline, exhausted from the day, burst into her first genuine laugh.

When they returned to the dormitory, the tantalizing aroma of food wafted through the air. Meals were usually provided by the central kitchen, but occasionally—like today—Lina cooked herself. Mostly on days when the Grand Duke’s household sent over premium ingredients.

“…Did someone visit again today?”

Only after partially filling her empty stomach did the important detail occur to her.

“Of course! So thoughtful, sending all that meat and fruit to restore your energy—honestly!”

Lina chattered excitedly, first griping about how people were bound to get jealous seeing the Grand Duke dote on Roseline so much, then veering into lavish praise for Valen’s charms, before finally concluding with adoration for Roseline—so beautiful and sharp-witted that even a Grand Duke couldn’t keep his composure.

My mouth tasted bitter. How fickle the human heart could be. Even though I was drained—not just of magic, but of all energy—to the point where I could’ve chewed on rocks, the moment my hunger was slightly appeased, reality came crashing down. The tender meat now felt tough as leather in my mouth, and the once-appetizing aroma only worsened my pounding headache.

I had made up my mind—firmly, unshakably so. Yet suddenly, I felt lost.

How was I supposed to say goodbye to a man this thoughtful? To a man who would rush to me from afar, all for my sake?