My Ruin to You - Chapter 41

“If Valen had been less cruel—if he’d stayed the tender lover he once was—perhaps this stubborn, foolish affection of mine could have scrubbed away the stain of my own inadequacy.”

She might have spent her days lost in futile regret, aching for a man she could no longer face, inventing pitiful excuses to crawl back to him.

But it was a meaningless hypothetical. That future was now irreparably shattered.

The man who ravaged her life over a rejected proposal, who threatened treason for a dance with the Emperor—how could she ever endure him?

“Ah. My fault, then.”

His icy tone cut through the silence. Valen exhaled a laugh, as if her words were absurd.

“Why not just admit the truth? You’ve grown bored of me.”

He dragged his thumb slowly across his lips, erasing a smirk, then gripped her chin.

“Don’t blame me for your heart growing cold. That’s too unfair.”

Despite his demand for honesty, the air itself felt lethal—a single nod might sever her head. This was a moment for silence. When Roseline’s gaze faltered under his scrutiny, he forced it back with a jerk of her chin.

“You speak as if I orchestrated some grand conspiracy, when I’ve barely lifted a finger. A few words, at most.”

“……”

“Yet those few words were enough to ruin you.”

“……”

“And now, watching you unravel further—that’s where I’ve chosen restraint. For fear you’d break entirely.”

Long, dry fingers traced her cheek. The touch was gentle, as if handling something fragile, but his eyes remained barren of emotion.

His hand slid down to cradle the nape of her neck—so slender it fit wholly in his palm. Her coral-colored eyes darted wildly.

He couldn’t miss the way her breath hitched, every muscle taut. His dark brows arched.

“Strange. For someone so easily frightened—”

With one last stroke of his thumb over the mark he’d left earlier, he released her, as if that had been his only goal.

Roseline’s shoulders slumped. She stared fixedly at the hem of his jacket, avoiding his gaze. His hands, which had pursued her relentlessly before, now rested in his pockets—as if even this small defiance was too much to permit.

“You asked if I wanted to tame you.”

“……”

“Here’s your answer, I’m not generous enough to waste time on those who won’t listen.”

“…….”

“I’ve poured all the mercy of my life upon you, and now you say this isn’t love? What am I supposed to do? Fine, I’ll do as you wish.”

The eyes that had been wandering over the jacket suddenly fixed on him. When their gazes met, Valen, standing tall with his back to the moonlight, spoke.

“This is the last time. Don’t you have anything to say to me?”

She knew the answer he wanted, but Roseline said nothing. She only bit her lip and clenched her hands tightly, hidden beneath her dress.

Unlike his usual self—who would press her the moment her answer was delayed—Valen waited for Roseline for a long time. This prolonged silence unsettled her more than any moment before. Roseline turned her head away as if avoiding him.

“Right. This is who you are.”

“…….”

“Do whatever you want. Live as you please.”

As his cold voice slowly faded, he turned away indifferently. He didn’t even spare a glance at Roseline, who stood frozen. As though there was nothing left to see.

Click.

Only after the door closed did his presence vanish. Roseline, who had been standing firm, slumped to the ground as if her legs had given out.

It was over.

◇◇◇

This is strange.

What is this feeling, as if everything is my fault?

I’ll admit to the ungrateful part—not recognizing his kindness and daring to announce our breakup—but if that’s a sin, then free love should vanish from this land. If every time you date someone of higher status and break up, you have to suffer such humiliation, who would dare to date at all?

For a moment, I tried to shake off the self-blame and blame Valen instead. But the thought that I was the one who shook such an unshakable man left me feeling hollow. My dreams were restless, too. Some nights, I dreamed of climbing the guillotine; other nights, I dreamed of Valen whispering love to another noble lady

But the most devastating dreams were the ones where Valen appeared as the tender lover he once was, just like in my memories. On those days, from the moment I woke up, an inexplicable dampness clung to some hidden part of me. It was the vanity of emotions I could afford only because I was still barely holding on.