Chapter 29
The man who had died in his arms had become unbelievably precious to Abel
And the fact that, in the end, Felix had chosen to prioritize his own feelings by giving Abel a false name only made Abel love him more.
Even the traits he had once considered flaws had all become endearing.
Because that was simply who Felix was.
So what Abel wanted to say now was this: he could not understand why Felix felt guilty at all, and yet he found this foolishly kind and tender-hearted Felix unbearably lovable.
“I love you.”
Abel did not hold back the emotions welling up inside him. Felix had told him not to say it, but he wanted to anyway.
Still at a loss for what to do, Felix heard Abel’s confession, squeezed his eyes shut, then answered through gritted teeth.
“Please, just shut your mouth.”
Seeing Felix’s gaze turn murderous, as though he wanted nothing more than to silence him even while drowning in guilt, only made Abel’s love swell all over again.
“I love you.”
At that, Felix finally snapped and clamped a hand over Abel’s mouth.
The pressure on his injuries made Abel reflexively furrow his brows, and Felix immediately jerked his hand away in alarm.
His mouth itched. He wanted to say I love you again, but Felix had told him not to. Not that he had much right to talk after already saying it twice.
“Since I’ve already been hit, can I do it one more time?”
Truthfully, just as much as he wanted to say I love you, he also wanted to taste those lips that were between Felix’s teeth once again.
“…No.”
When Abel stared fixedly at his lips, Felix recoiled in horror and thrust out a hand, creating a barrier between them.
“Absolutely not.”
Abel frowned as he looked at the palm blocking him from barely a finger’s width away.
Absolutely?
If he had known the word absolutely would be used, he would have been a little more proactive.
What, did he even know how to do anything more?
Certainly, Abel had spent his entire life in the temple as the Herald of God, and since all the clergy were men, none of them would dare chatter in front of him about kissing or s-x.
Setting aside the fact that Abel was the Herald of God, clergy were expected to practice celibacy, so regardless of what they secretly did behind closed doors, no fool would discuss such things in front of him.
However, after being expelled from the temple, Abel had unintentionally gained various experiences while wandering the gutters with Felix.
It was simply a consequence of living as fugitives. They had always needed to travel at night, and because they were often short on money, they frequently found themselves in poor conditions.
Not that he had personally experienced anything himself. He had merely seen and heard various things.
For example, there had been nights when a man and woman carried on passionately in the room next to the one he shared with Felix; people had subjected him to crude and vulgar s-xual jokes; and there had even been those who, without caring who was watching and without bothering to rent a room, suddenly started having relations right then and there.
At the time, he had paid no attention and simply ignored it all, but now he found himself wishing he had observed more closely.
‘At least I’d received a basic s-x education.’
But wasn’t theory different from practice? If he had had more visual materials, it might have been helpful.
Clicking his tongue in regret, Abel pressed a kiss to the palm hovering awkwardly between them, neither covering his mouth completely nor withdrawing altogether.
At once, Felix recoiled as if disgusted, stumbling several steps backward.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
As he spoke, he vigorously wiped his hand against his clothes.
“You never said I couldn’t do it to your palm.”
Even if Abel knew almost nothing about love or romance, he understood that being told no generally meant no. So this was, in a sense, an act of petty spite.
And faced with Abel’s shamelessness, the guilt quickly vanished from Felix’s face.
“Are you always this self-centered?”
No, it seemed to go beyond merely dispelling his guilt. The anger that had been brushed aside earlier was beginning to rise again.
Abel thought back over everything he had done to Felix so far.
Confessing his feelings without even being able to call him by the correct name. Declaring that he loved Felix in front of Gregory without understanding his rejection. Dragging him to the prayer assembly despite knowing that Felix hated attracting attention. Trying to force an apology from his parents simply because Abel himself was angry.
And kissing him without permission.
Looking at them one by one, Abel could not deny that he had been largely at fault.
That was a problem. What if Felix decided he no longer wanted to show his face to him at all?
Even while angry, Felix’s gaze still could not leave Abel’s mouth and cheek, and Abel decided to take advantage of that.
“Ow.”
Clutching his injured cheek and pretending to be in pain, Abel watched as Felix flinched.
When he touched it himself, he could definitely feel that it had swollen badly. His mouth had probably hurt while he was talking, too.
Until now, his love for Felix had made him forget the pain entirely, but once he became aware of it, it came rushing back all at once.
Suppressing the divine power he had reflexively been about to use, Abel took a step toward Felix.
“Felix.”
“…Why are you coming closer?”
“Heal me.”
Abel tilted up his injured cheek.
“With your divine power.”
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