Chapter 40
Wondering how he could prove it, Abel hurriedly looked around, only for Felix to respond slowly, wearing an expression that clearly said he had no idea how the conversation had ended up going in this direction.
“…I know. I can sense divine power too.”
Yesterday’s efforts had paid off once again. Abel nodded briskly.
“Right. I’m not saying it just to say it.”
After examining Felix’s condition as the latter let out a quiet sigh, Abel decided to offer him an easier choice.
“You don’t have to accept my feelings. You can just stay by my side like you do now.”
Whether Felix accepted his feelings or not, Abel would continue to love him.
Knowing that Felix disliked him, Abel honestly had no expectation whatsoever that Felix would ever accept his feelings or come to love him in return.
There was only one thing Abel wanted.
To whisper words of love to Felix without restraint, and to continue seeing him.
That alone was enough for Abel.
‘Unconditional love.’
This was the boundless love Father was always talking about, wasn’t it?
To still cherish someone even if they use you and hate you.
Even as he thought that he must be out of his mind, Abel had no desire to rid himself of the overwhelming emotions swelling within him.
With eyes full of anticipation, he waited for Felix’s answer.
At that, Felix blinked, then let out a faint, hollow laugh and murmured,
“…What an easily obtained form of power.”
From his tone, Abel sensed a negative implication.
No, there couldn’t possibly be a better offer than this. So why does Felix look even more displeased than before?
“Isn’t it a good thing if it’s easy to obtain?”
“I suppose it is. To think that I could gain something I could never obtain in my entire lifetime, simply by staying by your side, Lord Abel.”
But his expression said otherwise.
“Then why do you hate it?”
“Who knows? Why do I hate it?”
Does even Felix not know? If he doesn’t know, perhaps he should simply try standing by my side and experience that power for himself…
“It must be because of my pitiful pride and inferiority complex.”
A bitter smile touched Felix’s lips.
“Both are emotions unbecoming of someone of my standing.”
And that smile was directed not at Abel, but at himself.
“I know I could never achieve it through my own efforts. I know how sweet power would be if I possessed it. And yet, my pride still suffers.”
Felix looked down at his own palm before clenching his fist tightly.
“Because, just as others have always whispered—and just as my father claimed—I would become a cowardly and incompetent man who manipulates people’s hearts and controls them with nothing but his face.”
Felix tightened his fist until every joint seemed to scream in protest, then abruptly lowered his hand.
This time, he looked directly at Abel as he spoke.
“Even as I waver in the face of your extraordinary power and authority, I hate you for possessing everything.”
I envy you. I resent you. I hate you.
Revealing all of his feelings without concealing a single one, Felix muttered self-mockingly,
“And even you, who can do anything, cannot do anything about these feelings I have. Isn’t that right?”
In response to the question directed at him, Abel slowly nodded.
“That’s right.”
The things that had happened in Felix’s past, the deeds committed by his biological parents, and all the countless things Felix had heard and endured because of them—those were things even Abel could not change.
The inferiority Felix felt toward Abel was no different.
Even when Abel had lost everything, Felix had not been happy.
Felix, who had felt a fleeting sense of satisfaction at seeing Abel lose everything, only to be consumed by self-loathing and misery for taking pleasure in it.
By the same token, even if Abel were to abandon everything he currently possessed and declare that he wanted nothing but to remain by Felix’s side, Felix’s reaction would hardly be a positive one.
He would insist that there was a difference between something one had never been able to possess in the first place and something one had chosen to throw away. He would come to hate Abel and push him away.
So, as Felix had said, Abel could not change the way Felix thought, nor could he alter his nature.
Looking at Felix, who smiled bitterly at Abel’s agreement, Abel spoke.
“But is that a bad thing?”
“What?”
Seeing Felix frown, Abel tilted his head.
Felix’s gloomy, self-destructive, pessimistic, and hostile way of thinking was certainly one of his flaws.
But Abel loved even Felix’s flaws.
“I like that side of you too.”
At Felix’s expression, which clearly asked What on earth are you talking about?, Abel explained in complete seriousness.
“Felix, I didn’t fall in love with you because of your face.”
Even if Felix had been terribly ugly, or painfully ordinary, Abel would not have cared in the slightest.
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