Chapter 59
Although Prince Declan grew up receiving uncompensated affection and praise from birth, he was somewhat aware that ‘not all’ people loved him. They were mostly men like him, very likely peers, and with a very high probability, they held a similar or slightly lower social status.
Prince Declan, merely in his early teens, wanted to join and talk with the boys his age who seemed freer than he was. He thought it would be good to participate in the hunting they incessantly talked about. However, when he actually approached them and spoke, they didn’t particularly show any signs of welcoming him.
There were about five boys, roughly. About two of them welcomed him with a smiling face, even if only superficially, like others, but the remaining two openly exchanged glances, seemingly displeased.
And the last one openly mocked Prince Declan and said, ‘Your Prince Declan wouldn’t be interested in barbaric group hunting.’
It was the first time he had received antagonism without having given anything. Although he was bewildered, he soon realized this was the jealousy and envy that his Nursemaid had told him about. Once he understood, he wasn’t particularly flustered. Prince Declan replied without showing any sign of displeasure that he wasn’t particularly fond of hunting but often rode his horse around the forest.
Afterward, naturally excluding that one boy, Prince Declan made plans with the remaining four boys to go bird hunting.
The boy in question, during the pleasant scheduling of the event, silently stood there, unable to speak up and say, “Include me too,” until it was too late. That boy soon stormed off to where his parents were.
Should I go after that boy and include him now? He considered it, but stopped when he saw the boy taking out his anger on a passing servant. That boy needed to experience this humiliation a little. It was necessary.
He dared to make that judgment.
Throughout his journey to adulthood, individuals who envied Prince Declan popped up one or two at a time, just when he thought he had forgotten them. That foolish hostility was something he never quite got used to dealing with.
Prince Declan was still uncomfortable with the people who did not love him.
If he repaid them in kind, he felt uneasy, and if he pretended not to notice, they would start getting arrogant and irritate him; their very existence was a thorn in his side.
Thinking about it now, the past days when he struggled with jealous boys seemed laughable.
Now, only people who don’t love him remain by his side.
Prince Declan huffed and walked ahead. The damp thicket brushed against his legs and annoyingly wet his clothes, but he didn’t pay it any mind.
‘What an insufferable creature,’
Prince Declan thought about the maidservant who must be following behind him, feeling dumbfounded.
Prince Declan still thought of the maidservant as admirable. If he had to choose just one person between the coachman and the maidservant, he would choose the maidservant without hesitation.
The maidservant did not openly display hostility or antagonism towards him like the men he had encountered in the past. Instead, every time he offered goodwill, she ignored him to the point of making him feel embarrassed or acted aloof. Now, she had gone beyond that and started trying to instruct him.
Yes. That maidservant made him feel extremely embarrassed. He only wanted to be nice to her, yet she looked at him as if asking what he was doing, being so senseless in this situation. She looked at him as if he were a complete idiot. Perhaps it wasn’t quite that bad, but psychologically, it felt that way.
This kind of humiliation was new to him, and his hurt feelings refused to subside. Come to think of it, hadn’t that maidservant’s way of speaking subtly changed too? It must be because he showed weakness. That’s why he hadn’t wanted to show himself suffering from the illness.
That maidservant must be looking down on him, beyond just ignoring him…
“Prince Declan.”
Upon hearing the voice, Prince Declan cut off his thoughts and slowly turned his head to look behind him.
The maidservant had already caught up to him, right beside him.
“I was a little harsh earlier.”
Prince Declan still maintained a face full of his sense of authority, and fully turned his body to look at the maidservant.
“…What was harsh?”
“Since you were sick, you must have craved human warmth in many ways. I think I spoke too harshly to someone in that state.”
Prince Declan chewed on the inside of his cheek.
It was because he recalled his recent behavior, when he had been half-asleep, thoroughly soaking in the lingering feeling of simply having survived, and had abruptly begged the maidservant for a hug.
Prince Declan cleared his throat, trying hard to pretend he wasn’t embarrassed.
“It’s fine. It’s alright. I’m the one who should apologize for bothering you.”
“Yes.”
She answered “Yes” so curtly. He hadn’t expected an apologetic look, but still.
Prince Declan let out a wry laugh with a grudging expression.
“You might as well drop the formalities entirely.”
“…Can I?”
Discussion
0 CommentsReactions
No comments yet.