Please Forget Me - Chapter 169

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Finally, we were leaving. My heart raced with excitement, but also with anxiety because this was an escape. I couldn’t sleep. Johann, perhaps feeling the same way, couldn’t sleep either.

In the end, we exhausted our bodies trying to fall asleep.

Creak, creak, creak, creak.

“Ah… Johann, hngh, slow… ah….”

“Haa… Let’s go home together.”

“Home…? Hah— ahh!”

“Ungh… haa….”

He reached his peak just a little after me, withdrawing as my body shuddered through the lingering waves of pleasure. He held me tightly, he brought his lips to my ear and whispered sweetly,

“We’ll never leave that paradise again. We’ll live safely, hidden away forever… raise our children there….”

“Haa….”

But my thoughts lingered on the words I had been trying to say earlier—before the overwhelming pleasure stole my breath away.

Home? But our home… it’s still enemy territory.

Johann wasn’t reckless enough to drag me into danger, into enemy hands. He must have meant a new home. He must have misspoken in his excitement.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, ahh—!”

“Haa… we’ll be okay.”

Johann pressed inside me again, and in an instant, my mind dissolved into bliss. I lost track of how many times I’d reached my climax.

Tonight was so intense that Johann was the one who collapsed into exhaustion first. It was rare for me to still be awake when I was the one who would already succumb to sleep.

‘My heart keeps pounding.’

Even after the warmth from my body has faded, my heart continues to race. My body has no energy left, but my mind is spinning like I’ve just drunk a strong cup of coffee.

‘What if we get caught at the border checkpoint?’

I thought about our escape route, running over my worries one by one. Without realizing it, I started to bite my nails, but Johann’s loud exhale startled me, and I quickly hid my hand under the blanket.

‘I shouldn’t be like this. Only think positive thoughts.’

Tomorrow is the day we’ll finally receive the permit. I feel like I’ll be overjoyed as if we’ve already succeeded in escaping once it’s in my hands. Of course, there’s still a long way to go to truly succeed…

‘No, that’s not it. Even if we just get out of here, good things will come, right?’

I reflected on the words Johann whispered to me earlier while my heart pounded .

“If we make it out of here safely, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll tell you when we get out.”

What could it be? I can’t guess at all, but since he said it’s not something bad, I can’t help but look forward to it.

After that, I imagined us escaping this country safely, as Johann had said, and living in our own paradise, safe and comfortable, having many children. The happy thoughts made it harder to sleep than when I was just worrying.

“Phew…”

I decided to stop thinking about it. I closed my eyes tightly and buried my face in Johann’s chest, only to freeze.

His heartbeat was erratic. As I listened carefully, his breathing was heavy too. Just like when we were tangled in each other’s bodies.

But unlike the exhilaration and excitement from that moment, his breath now sounded like someone terrified.

Is he having a nightmare?

As soon as I looked up, he, who had been breathing heavily and quickly, muttered.

“I did it because I love you…”

I did it because I love you. Whatever dream he was having, it seemed like an odd sleep-talking, and just as I was about to wake him, he murmured again.

“Dana…”

At that moment, I released my hold on him and slipped out of his arms. I curled up, turning my back to him. I wrapped myself up, as if trying to protect my heart from being torn apart.

I had learned that the woman was dead, but now I understood why my heart hadn’t found peace.

I can’t defeat a dead woman. Even if we manage to escape, I’ll never be able to escape her ghost and will have to fight it for the rest of my life.

“Hah…”

A while later, I felt Johann stir behind me, as if he had woken from the nightmare. His heavy breathing began to settle, and he groped for the space beside him. As soon as his hand reached me, he quickly got up and came toward me.

I curled up even tighter. He probably couldn’t see in the dark, but judging from how he pulled me close from behind, kissing the back of my head repeatedly, I knew what he was trying to do.

Since I didn’t move at all, he must have thought I was asleep. He whispered as if praying.

“Please forgive me.”

I stayed silent.

From the beginning, forgiveness wasn’t something I intended. I merely endured. And now, even that patience was reaching its limit.

In the end, I couldn’t sleep a wink and, as soon as dawn broke, I got up. Johann also had something to do, so he woke up early too.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes…”

“Then why do you look so tired? Did I torment you too much last night?”

That’s not wrong.

Normally, we would tidy the bed together in the morning and have small, comforting conversations, but today I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I left the crumpled bedding untouched and ran to the bathroom.

A little later, when I came back, the bed was restored to how it had been before. There was the neatly arranged bedding but no signs of Johann.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The sound of an axe chopping wood drifted from somewhere outside the window as I shook out the blanket and hung it to dry.

Johann had felt sorry that he couldn’t properly say goodbye to the principal, who had taken care of us in so many ways whenever we were in a difficult situation, especially as we were suddenly leaving.