Please Forget Me - Chapter 177

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

“Do you know what the flower language of red clover is? Together, happiness, promise. Let’s promise to be happy together. I don’t understand why you think I don’t love you.”

I can no longer tell if the love he showed for the woman he had thoroughly deceived and used was genuine or just an act.

“No matter what you suspect me of, that’s fine. But you should never doubt my love for you.”

The man tied the ring on my pinky, promising happiness together, then kissed the tip of his finger as if he was a knight bowing to a princess, before letting me go.

His touch, now much rougher than before, still felt gentle as it slipped away. In that moment, I finally understood the past version of myself that I had never been able to comprehend.

Did I know Johann was the enemy, a spy, and still joined him? Did the past version of me hate my country so much that I betrayed it?

Even if I didn’t know and joined him blindly, once I was under investigation for murder and discovered he loved another woman with a Falkland-style name, I would have realized that I was just a target, used by him.

But still, I didn’t understand why I stayed by his side, pretending as if nothing happened.

He was the man who made me commit murder and had an affair.

I wanted to ask my past self, ‘Why did you make that choice?’

But my past self was dead. So I thought I would never know the answer, but now, the present me has understood. The man before me made me a murderer and had an affair, but still, because of the love I crave, I understood the past me.

The man rested his elbow on the window sill, his hands folded neatly with his knuckles touching, and looked at me intently. His silent gaze was still waiting for my response.

In those eyes, there was an abundance of love. It was so clear, I felt foolish for doubting it. Even if that gaze were just another act, I wanted to beg him to deceive me completely for the rest of my life because it was so sweet.

But I am tired now. Tired of being deceived, tired of realizing I’d been deceived, and tired of tolerating the man who had deceived me.

“I know you’ve deceived me.”

I know you’re not Johann Renner. I know you’re a spy for the enemy. And I know there’s another woman in your life.

I hadn’t said any of this before, but with those words, the smile on his face disappeared. The evidence had been clear from the start, leaving no room for doubt, but with the nervous look in his eyes, I had confirmed the truth once again.

‘If you truly loved me, I could bear everything. Maybe my past self thought the same. But now, love alone isn’t enough.’

I should be the one you love.

‘So, be honest. Do you still love Dana?’

When I ask him this, his answer will determine my choice.

But before I could ask, there was something I needed to say first. I should remind him not to react with surprise or look around in case someone is watching us. Instead, he should just smile as though we were casually chatting.

“Eek!”

Crash!

The scream of a child and the sound of a desk toppling echoed through the classroom.

“Waaah!”

“Teacher!”

The man turned around, then glanced back at me with conflicted eyes. I motioned toward the child who was crying on the floor.

“Go check on them.”

“You come in first. Let’s talk inside.”

He asked me to come into the classroom several times, and even as he went to check on the injured child, he kept looking back at me, signaling for me to come in from the window.

‘Yes, maybe that’s a better way to avoid the major’s surveillance.’

So, I entered the school building but was stopped in front of the principal’s office.

“Mrs. Renner, why don’t you wait here instead of in that stuffy storage room?”

The principal, unaware that I had something to discuss, assumed I was just waiting for my husband to finish work so we could go home together. He kept asking me to come into the principal’s office.

“Today we have cherry cake.”

“Thank you, but I have business with Johann.”

“Since it’s class time, you’ll have to wait anyway.”

The bell for the lesson rang, and as I blankly watched the children rush into the last classroom, Johann appeared at the window and motioned for me to come over.

“I’ll wait here.”

I was eager to speak and hear his answer, but if Johann didn’t teach, it would surely raise suspicions with the watchers who might be nearby.

“Go on inside.”

I waved my hand again and smiled casually, and only then did Johann go into the classroom with anxious eyes.

“How is Mrs. Bauer doing?”

“She’s doing well. I heard she received a letter from Mr. Bauer yesterday.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“I’m glad.”

Though I wasn’t in the mood to chat, since I would have to wait until the next break, I made small talk with the principal.

That’s when I heard the sound of footsteps approaching down the hall. The heavy footsteps echoed like those of soldiers, which felt ominous. Soon, two men in military uniforms appeared at the open door of the principal’s office.

They might be here to arrest that man.