Please Forget Me - Chapter 189

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

“No, there’s no need to wait until then. Goetz, open this door immediately. I need to make a call too. Tell him that Private Armin Vogel dared to stop me.”

I was supposed to command the soldier with authority, but my voice grew weaker and trembled. The hand holding my handkerchief trembled even more than before. Surely the Private noticed it too.

The soldier, staring at me with wide, startled eyes, went pale the moment he heard ‘him.’ I hoped that person would see me not as terrified, but as shaking with anger.

“Oh, Mother…”

Caught in a flood of emotions, I covered my face with both hands and burst into loud sobs.

“Sniffle…”

Maybe I used acting as an excuse to irresponsibly surrender myself to the raging emotions inside. Because right now, I just wanted to cry.

I was scared.

It felt like waking up in enemy territory all of a sudden. Everything familiar to me just this morning had become strange, and everything harmless had turned dangerous.

‘Why is this happening to me?’

If I died here now, I would never know why. And that’s not the only thing I don’t know. I don’t even know the name of the man I love, and I know only my own name. If I die without knowing myself, isn’t that like bearing someone else’s sins and paying their price?

“Hic…”

That thought made me so resentful and sorrowful that I couldn’t stop crying. Still, a sliver of reason remained in my mind, sensing the uncomfortable silence, I was calculating and worrying.

‘What do I do now?’

There were two sentries. Should I pretend to make a call, then go to the guard post, kill the soldiers, and escape? But to do that, I’d have to talk to that man first. How?

“…I apologize for my thoughtlessness, Madam. Please, go ahead.”

The solemn permission came unexpectedly, and I was so startled I almost stopped crying. Fortunately, the Private headed straight to the barricade and wasn’t looking at me.

The obstacle blocking the road was removed, and a gap slowly opened. My path to survival had appeared. Watching that, I burst into tears again, but this time with a different feeling.

No sooner was there enough space to pass than the car started moving. Behind my mask, my lips curved into a smile filled with exhilaration. That fleeting moment, passing solemn salutes from the sentries unaware of what was happening, would remain the slowest moment in all my life.

No one changed their mind to stop us, and the car safely passed through the barricades. Inside the car speeding toward safety, I fought the foolish urge to look back at the valley of death.

The moment I did, I felt sure they’d realize I was an imposter and spray bullets at me.

The tall fir trees stood like a barrier as the road curved sharply. Only after completely escaping the line of fire did I finally take a deep breath.

“Hic…”

With that exhale, the sobs I’d been holding back burst forth. I thought I’d laugh after escaping this valley of death, but instead, I found myself unable to hold back tears more than in the moments before.

“Dana…”

The man called out to me as I poured out my sorrow. Though his eyes had been dry and cold on the dim road, his voice was now thick with emotion.

“I’m sorry.”

He repeated his apology to me in a fragile, choking voice. It offered little comfort. All I felt was a flood of resentment, unsure where to direct it.

The car, which had been speeding without pause, finally stopped in the middle of an unknown forest. The man stepped out from the driver’s seat, opened the back door, and held out his hand to me.

Our plan was to flee as far as possible, then when the fuel was more than half gone, change clothes in a remote spot, abandon the car near a train station, and board a northbound train. So I assumed this was the reason for stopping.

Still sniffling, I quietly took his hand and got out. But then, as he pulled me into his arms, an overwhelming surge of anger welled up inside me. I pushed him away, then punched him fiercely.

“Why! Why did you hide this from me?!”

My question was swallowed by my tears and went unheard. He tried to hold me again, but after I pushed him away once more, he never touched me again. He just stood there, silently taking the blows I gave him.

The expression on his face caught in the headlights seemed to say that if I were to kill him right then, it would somehow bring him relief. Yet the more I hurt him, the more suffocated I felt inside.

This pathetic cycle left no one satisfied—only upset. Finally, I stopped and let my hands fall.

“Tell me. Why did you keep it from me?”

“I didn’t want to make things harder for you.”

“So this is the result of trying to spare me?”

I challenged him, pointing at my tear-streaked, pale face that clearly showed how much I had suffered. Yet he looked only at my swollen, bruised left cheek and then gave me a look that said he wanted to die again.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault I didn’t kill him sooner. I truly regret it. What was my weak conviction worth…”

“I’m not blaming you for that. If I was going to find out eventually anyway, you should’ve told me yourself! Not let me heard it from the enemy!”

He said nothing in reply, only looked at me with sad eyes.

“You…weren’t planning to ever tell me, were you?”