Please Forget Me - Chapter 282

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

In any case, there were countless times when I tried to approach you and speak to you directly. When we were exchanging letters, you seemed so at ease with me that I hoped the words might finally leave my lips.

“……”

But I failed every single time. Each time I drew near, you would look up at me with those forget-me-not–colored eyes, trembling ever so slightly. I could never tell whether you were simply puzzled, afraid of me, or disliked me. Whenever I met that unsteady gaze, language abandoned me, and so did my confidence.

I couldn’t even manage a simple greeting. How could I possibly deliver a long confession of love? I knew it wasn’t proper to propose by letter without even revealing who I was.

And yet, my heart was so desperate that I committed that rudeness anyway. I begged you.

My beloved Miss Loveridge, I swear I will appear before you and propose in person. Please, wait for me.
—
I can’t wait forever. When summer ends, I will leave. I may never meet you again—someone whose name and family I don’t even know.
P.S. You may call me Dana.

Still, you said you would wait. More than that, you allowed me to call you by your given name. I felt certain then that you might accept my proposal. For the first time, I understood what it meant to feel as though I were flying.

At the same time, a fear of falling began to soak the wings of my heart like a creeping mist. It wasn’t only because summer was drawing to a close.

“She’s not even a noble, yet she’s more arrogant than one.”

It was because I sensed a change in Rupert.

One day, you engaged the noble boys in a heated debate over current affairs during a card game. Later, when only the boys remained, Rupert began to speak ill of you.

“She won’t back down from men…. Doesn’t she seem awfully fierce for someone who looks so meek?”

Even when we were alone, Rupert continued tearing you down.

“You remember when she fell into the stream in the forest, right? Then she ran off like a skittish colt. Soaked through, acting all crude… Doesn’t look it, but you can’t hide vulgar blood, no matter how much you educate it.”

The more viciously Rupert gnawed at you, the more I felt a growing sense of danger, as though he might snatch you up and carry you off.

I knew his habits well. Whenever there was something he believed far beneath his noble station, yet couldn’t help wanting, he would obsessively list its flaws and disparage it.

He had begun to desire you.

Even if you were already mine—already connected to me in heart—why would that stop him? If anything, it would only make him want you more.

He was the sort who coveted what belonged to others. Blinded by obsession, he would surely forget every so-called ‘flaw’ and lunge for you all the same.

“She’s strutting around on the strength of a pretty face. There are plenty of prettier women in Dunley.”

“That’s true.”

No. Not at all.

“Women that pretty and obedient aren’t exactly rare.”

I lied only because I wanted him to give up on you.

“Did you hear? Her grandmother barely speaks Highlander. She meant to say apples were delicious but ended up saying monkeys were.”

“Ugh, ignorant.”

“If someone in my family were like that, I’d be too ashamed to hold my head up.”

I prayed that Rupert’s superiority complex—and the inferiority buried beneath it—would be enough to keep his hands off you.

Your debate with the boys drew Rupert’s dangerous interest, but paradoxically, it also marked the moment when you lowered the walls around your heart, at least with me.

Sorry my reply is late.

After that day, you were nowhere to be seen for two full days. Even at dinner, your grandmother appeared, but you did not. When your letter finally arrived on the third day, you sounded drained.

Dana, were you sick? I asked the maids at the annex, and they said you hadn’t been eating separately. I was worried. I was going to look for you if you didn’t appear today. Are you all right now?
—
You were worried about me… You even checked whether I’d been eating. You’re such a kind person. Thank you.

Your letter that day was stained with tears. You, who had always been so strong, were crying. Sensing that something was terribly wrong, I pressed on despite knowing it was improper.

I’m afraid to tell you. But I want to know… If you hear my story, will you still love me?

And so, I heard your heartbreaking confession.