Chapter 331
‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.
But I didn’t laugh.
‘So this is my reality….’
That it couldn’t possibly be a play was something I had to accept on the day I finally collapsed from exhaustion after staying awake night after night, and then woke up with a clear mind.
If it were a play, there would be far too many things that made no sense. Above all, the idea that Killian had done all this just to scare me or toy with me was the most absurd of all. He’d never once treated me that way.
So this was undeniably my reality. Yet, none of it felt like it belonged to me.
“Try looking through keepsakes and old records to recover your memories.”
Dr. Loveridge said it might help, so for days I sifted through my belongings—albums, diaries, letters—but no memories returned. Everything still felt unfamiliar.
‘At least Mother’s face feels familiar.’
Because she looked almost exactly like me. And yet, the name written in the margin beneath her photograph was unfamiliar.
‘Why can’t I remember this?’
As I turned the name over in my mind, an unrelated thought suddenly occurred to me.
‘She must have used a stage name, right?’
I grew curious about what my mother must have looked like as an actress. But there was no one I could ask about her current whereabouts.
‘How would that woman react if I asked?’
I shot a glance at the old woman sitting on the sofa opposite me, clutching her forehead and fuming, then turned to the maid standing behind her, watching the room nervously.
“Could you buy me any film magazines or entertainment journals you can find?”
If I was lucky, I might come across some news about my mother. With that thought, I slipped the photograph back into the album. Then suddenly felt something was missing.
“Come to think of it… where’s today’s newspaper?”
I hadn’t only lost my personal memories, I’d lost my memory of the country I was born and raised in as well. That was why the newspaper had been part of Dr. Loveridge’s prescription. But today—no, since yesterday—the maid hadn’t brought one.
“Well… um…”
I’d only asked where the newspaper was, yet the maid reacted as if I’d asked something terribly difficult. Instead of answering, she glanced at my grandmother.
‘Did Grandmother tell her not to give me the newspaper? Why?’
It wasn’t that I desperately needed one. But I was tired of letting that woman control me however she pleased. I was just about to demand an explanation when—
Outside the window, I heard the sound of a car wheel rolling to a stop. Then the butler announced from the hallway,
“The director has returned.”
Dr. Loveridge was back. My grandmother sprang to her feet as if relieved and hurried out, almost as if fleeing.
“Phineas, welcome back. You came home right on time.”
I could hear her greeting her son outside. The moment the pleasantries ended, the complaining began.
“I was supposed to show you a different side of herself today, what are we to do? I tried all day to teach her, but she won’t listen at all.”
I couldn’t hear the doctor’s reply, but the old woman’s voice rang loud and clear—deliberately raised so I would hear every word.
“Now I understand why the Marquis left this child here. It’s not just that she’s forgotten who she is, she’s forgotten all manners and refinement as well. She’s no better than a country woman now. I must re-educate her quickly, but my head already aches.”
That’s what she’d told the doctor on the first day. Back then, she’d at least spoken of me as human.
“How on earth did she live all this time? A girl raised as a noble lady, reduced to a stray dog raised loose.”
A dog. That’s a bit much.
I do agree with the raised loose part.
Only recently had I realized just how much freedom Killian had allowed me.
‘I want to go back to that time.’
I collapsed onto the sofa, thinking that I still wasn’t sure whether that meant going back to him. The maid watching me panicked slightly and looked away. Outside the door, the slander disguised as concern continued.
“Phineas, what if the Marquis says he wants to annul the marriage?”
‘I’d be grateful, actually.’
I still didn’t know how I felt about Killian, but I knew for certain that I hated my current husband. I wished he’d let me go.
“Mother, you know that vows sworn before God cannot be undone.”
As the two of them passed in front of my room, the doctor’s reply reached me clearly.
‘That’s true….’
Divorce may exist in law, but not in the courtroom. Marriage can’t be undone. Then at the very least, if only he’d never look for me again.
“But, Phineas… don’t be shocked when you hear this.”
Thinking it must be shocking news even for me, I strained my ears to listen—
Discussion
0 CommentsReactions
No comments yet.