Please Kill Me - Chapter 175

Dmitry’s reason for mentioning it was simple. If Leonid lost his life due to foolish choices, it would be Leonid’s own fault. He was questioning whether there was any reason to care that much for someone who was merely an outsider.

In the past, Yekaterina might have asked herself the same question. But if the weak perish and die as a matter of course, then if there is no value in extending a hand…

“Then why did you cast the protection magic for a weakling like me?”

When Dmitry’s magic was activated, ironically, Yekaterina gained a few more old memories. The memories connected through magic came flooding back like potato roots, intertwining as a response to the magical stimulus.

Thanks to this, although her recollection wasn’t perfect, she could recall the expression on Dmitry’s face when he cast the protection magic for her.

And she remembered her own state as well.

— Sister, I’ve brought you something good. With this, you won’t have to suffer anymore.

— But I’m not sure if I should accept this. If there’s something like this, it should go to you.

— No, I’m strong enough without it. What you need is this; you look like you’re going to die soon.

The phrase ‘look like you’re going to die soon’ wasn’t an exaggeration. The version of herself in that memory had no uninjured parts on her body.

Was it fortunate that her bones hadn’t broken? Or was it fortunate that Offenbach’s healing arts were excellent?

As she grew older, the training became increasingly difficult. While she was educated primarily in theory as a child, the requirements for her shifted to more physical challenges as she matured.

And being weak was simply unacceptable.

Yekaterina had to endure all sorts of harsh training for practical practice, often being pushed to the brink of death before being carried off to the infirmary in tatters.

There, they used advanced healing spells and expensive potions, even consuming the core of monsters to treat her. It was somewhat amusing considering that most of those potions were ones Yekaterina had created herself.

In any case, at that time, Yekaterina was somewhere in the middle of that process. It meant she was receiving expensive treatment in the infirmary after having rolled around to the point of it being strange if she didn’t die.

And at that time, Yekaterina was genuinely exhausted from the process.

While physical wounds could be healed, the pain and psychological scars would never truly disappear. Constantly being pushed to the edge of death and receiving treatment again and again was too horrific for a girl who was barely in her teens.

So, without even realizing it, Yekaterina found herself listening attentively to what Dmitry was saying.

Knowing that she shouldn’t covet anything, Yekaterina felt so exhausted that she unconsciously grasped Dmitry’s hand, believing that it might alleviate her suffering. She couldn’t remember much after that, but she could clearly recall that Dmitry had been smiling brightly at that moment.

“What if you hadn’t cast that magic on me back then? I’ve suddenly wondered if I could have endured until now.”

Indeed, that magic had led to her tragic death, but ironically, it was also the same magic that had kept Yekaterina alive all this time.

“I was weak, so it wouldn’t have been surprising if I had died in Offenbach. And until my death, I wouldn’t have questioned it. We were taught that it was just the way things were.”

Yet Dmitry willingly cast the protection magic for her, even though they were trained to view sympathy for the weak as a luxury and to accept that the weak would naturally perish.

Yekaterina understood the reason behind it.

“Maybe things are different now, but you cast that magic on me back then because you cared about me.”

In truth, it was something that didn’t need to be asked. It was simply that they were in Offenbach, where everyone pretended not to know.

At Yekaterina’s words, Dmitry’s brow slightly furrowed.

“That was a foolish act of my youth.”

“I don’t deny it. You were more emotional and foolish back then. Emotions can lead to irrational and illogical choices.”

At one point, she thought there was nothing more foolish than being swayed by emotions. The reason she had forced herself to suppress her feelings was to avoid making foolish choices that would lead to sacrificing parts of her body. Surviving fully was all that mattered to her at that time.

But if living like that yielded nothing, perhaps it was time to change her perspective.

“Dmitry, I care for Leonid Rostislav. I care for him very much. So, for his sake, I can do something foolish.”

Now, she could state it clearly.

Because she cared for him, she resented both him and herself for putting Leonid in danger. And she could willingly give herself up for him, declaring that she didn’t want a life without him.

“So let go. I have no intention of staying in Offenbach any longer.”

After finishing her statement, Yekaterina looked at her younger brother. Dmitry was gazing back at her with an indescribable expression.

It seemed to mix sadness, resentment, and perhaps even pleading—as if asking to let go of her was something he was extremely afraid of.