Chapter 48
Return
She paid off the debt.
She paid off the debt and still had money left. It was an awkward amount for making a fresh start.
After facing the loan sharks and putting an end to it, Julia staggered onto the train. Leaning against the window, she stared blankly in the direction of the Drexton Duchy.
Her final encounter with Duke Drexton lingered in her mind for a long time, tormenting her endlessly. She couldn’t quite remember what he had said then. But when she tried to retrace it, it felt like it would hurt terribly. She decided to bury it in distant memory.
Julia rubbed her face.
When she stubbornly said once more that she was leaving, Duke Drexton had stared at her in silence for a long while. His lips were tightly sealed, and he looked at her with the expression of someone who had been betrayed.
Julia nearly clung to him, begging that she didn’t want to leave.
But she knew well that it was her time to exit.
It would have been shameless even to say she would stay if she were a virgin, yet Julia was a widow who had taken another man even before mingling bodies with him. She had no qualifications. Not even the qualifications to become a mistress.
Julia admitted it. She had come to love Edgar, now grown.
It wasn’t simply because s*x with him felt indescribably good. When she thought it over, it was inevitable that she would fall in love. His gentlemanly demeanor outside the bed. And even his pleading on the last day. Why had he wanted her to stay there so badly.
The train began to move.
Now she was truly growing distant.
「 Is it to remain faithful to your husband? 」
On the morning she demanded settlement, Duke Drexton had asked that.
That wasn’t it. Julia never loved her husband. She had merely tried to be faithful to her role as a widow, not to keep faith with a dead man.
「 Yes. 」
But she chose to answer that way. She was certain that if she did, Duke Drexton wouldn’t argue and would let her go.
In fact, Duke Drexton had stared at her for a long while, struck speechless.
「 I see. 」
That was the only thing he said.
「 I’ll tell Hoover to settle the amount. 」
「 …Yes. 」
「 You begged me not to throw you away, yet you’re the one throwing me away first. 」
That was their last conversation.
With the sound of the train wheels rolling and gravel crunching, the Drexton Duchy grew farther and farther away. Holding onto her childhood memories, and the intense pleasure of one month, Julia left that place. Now truly, they would never meet again.
Her chest felt terribly empty. It was unfamiliar, yet not the first time she’d felt it. When she searched her memory for when she had last felt this way, the day before her wedding came to mind. Just before being sold off to an older husband, her chest had felt tight and yet hollow at the same time, just like this.
Let’s stop thinking about it now. But don’t forget it either.
Julia closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
Her body and mind were both completely exhausted.
She just wanted to rest so, so badly.
* * *
“Julia?”
No destination readily came to mind.
So Julia went back to Cecile.
“I’m here, Cecile.”
Julia managed a smile, even with her pale face.
Cecile was so surprised she couldn’t even approach her. Only when Julia opened her arms first did Cecile awkwardly come closer and embrace her.
“W-What… why? What about the ducal manor?”
“The contract ended.”
Julia explained very simply.
“Can you let me stay over? I’m so tired. It feels like I left half of myself back there.”
“What are you even talking about?”
It would’ve been nice if Cecile had just held her quietly, but instead she pressed Julia.
“The contract ended? As far as I know, the contract was for two months.”
Her face was deeply flustered, as if something that should never have happened had occurred.
Julia was already tired, and with Cecile reacting like this too, her expression grew utterly weary.
“There’s a reason for that.”
Normally she would have explained everything sincerely. But today she truly didn’t have the energy, so Julia gave up, apologetically. Cecile, knowing that Julia rarely showed this side of herself, only pressed her lips together tightly.
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