Chapter 6
“Uh…”
Julia stammered foolishly. Unable to act at all, frozen in place, she felt Head Maid Mary discreetly poke her back to prompt her.
Only then did Julia hurriedly take hold of Duke Drexton’s fingertips.
“Please call me Devel. As you know, I have, been appointed as Your Grace’s tutor.”
She wanted to speak calmly, but it wasn’t easy. Julia trembled to a pitiful, almost pathetic degree. She even looked like a shabby young girl.
“Missus Devel.”
Duke Drexton looked down at Julia and smiled faintly. It was a smile devoid of emotion, a purely formal one. The kind of smile one offered to a lady met for the first time.
Julia felt confused in that instant. She had been sure he recognized her, but…
Duke Drexton took Julia’s hand and made a show of kissing the back of it. It was so smooth and composed, a flawless display of perfect gentlemanly conduct.
“Ah…”
Julia felt an impulse to ask whether he truly didn’t know who she was. But she bit the inside of her lip and held back. Aside from the brief flicker in his eyes, there was no sign at all in Duke Drexton’s behavior that he had recognized Julia.
At that point, Julia began to think more rationally. Perhaps what she had taken for wavering was nothing more than a mirage created by chandelier candlelight reflecting. Matthew hadn’t recognized her. Mary hadn’t recognized her either. It might actually be more natural that ‘Edgar’ wouldn’t recognize Julia.
After all, the two of them had been close fifteen full years ago.
‘And I’ve changed a lot too.’
Even by Julia’s own recollection, she had been truly beautiful back then. But as married life went on, a gaunt and weary expression had settled onto her face. Someone who had only known the Julia who had once been famed far and wide for her beauty might not be able to recall her past self from the Julia she was now.
Just as Julia hadn’t been able to recognize the Edgar of long ago at a glance.
‘Time really is cruel.’
Her shadowed green eyes fixed on the man who had grown into a sturdier figure than she ever imagined. He felt unfamiliar. That unfamiliarity made Julia slightly uncomfortable. It was a discomfort of a different nature from fear.
“Shall we go this way?”
Wearing his usual ‘public-facing smile’, Duke Drexton guided Julia up the stairs.
Julia hesitated, then handed her luggage to Mary beside her and followed Duke Drexton.
Duke Drexton explained the layout of the mansion to Julia one detail at a time. It was information she already knew thoroughly. Worried she might slip up out of familiarity, Julia kept her mouth firmly shut and only nodded from time to time.
‘Still, I didn’t expect him to personally give me a tour.’
She had thought he would leave it to Mary.
Duke Drexton’s attitude was that of someone receiving a high-ranking noble lady. Even the room he assigned to Julia felt lavish for a place meant for ‘that kind of private tutor’.
“Thank you… for showing me around like this.”
Julia bowed deeply. Duke Drexton returned a light bow, as if it were only natural.
“There will be dinner shortly. If it’s alright with you, please join me.”
After a brief hesitation, Julia gave a small nod.
The atmosphere at dinner that followed was much the same. Duke Drexton maintained an exceedingly gentlemanly demeanor.
He even inclined his head slightly upon seeing Julia’s attire.
“My condolences.”
Startled, Julia’s knife scraped against her plate.
‘He’s… talking about my husband right now, isn’t he?’
From what she had looked into while staying at Cecile’s villa, suitors seeking ‘first night lessons’ generally avoided mentioning the husbands of widowed private tutors. Julia also thought that seemed more natural. Bringing up the husband of the person meant to teach s*x felt stranger, if anything.
When she raised her head to look at Duke Drexton, he was meeting her gaze steadily.
In the end, Julia could only avert her eyes slightly past his shoulder and mumble.
“It has become bearable.”
“Were you on good terms with your husband?”
“…About the same as other couples.”
What is this?
Am I here as a guest? Not as a tutor?
Talking about her deceased husband filled Julia’s mind with confusion. His courteous manner, the generous treatment. And the casual way he brought up her husband…
* * *
Of course, when Head Maid Mary knocked on Julia’s door after dinner ended, harsh reality came crashing down on her.
“His Grace says he will be waiting for you in the study.”
At Mary’s message, Julia’s heart dropped straight down.
Her breathing grew rapid.
‘So the time has finally come.’
A sense of emptiness washed over her again, but she had to steel herself. As Cecile had said, she wasn’t a virgin ignorant of men, so what was there to be ashamed of.
“I understand.”
Julia composed her voice as she replied and stood up. In her luggage were several books she had prepared in advance. With trembling hands, she picked them up and stepped out the door with as composed an expression as she could manage.
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