Chapter 102
This explained how I could stabilize the abilities of those around me, even without seeing or understanding their ability control mechanisms. Furthermore, my current theory was that I could only see the flaws in others when their abilities were severely tangled or when they were in poor condition. I hadn’t seen them before because my leaking abilities had already smoothed them over before I could notice. I couldn’t see the flaws because they were already gone, neatly resolved. Father’s flaws were visible only because his forced suppression had left him in an extremely dangerous state.
“Ha ha, ha…”
A hollow laugh escaped me. Knowing all this, I couldn’t resent having taken Taumiel. Before, I wanted to rip apart and erase the past where I blindly obeyed Mother and swallowed the d**g. I yearned to return to my eight-year-old self and change everything. But now, I couldn’t. If I hadn’t taken that d**g, if my abilities hadn’t been amplified and leaked… could I have saved Kin? Would I have met him? Would he have sought me out? I couldn’t say for sure. If I hadn’t encountered someone experiencing a surge, I might have remained forever ignorant of my own abilities. How could I have connected that tiny point of light to someone’s chaotic ability control mechanism?
That left only one option: to live out my life, weeping in ignorance of my power. Then you wouldn’t have come looking for me. Perhaps Kin would have truly died in that surge, leaving Mother alone in Blashur. I would never have known you, never experienced the undeserved love you gave me. If taking that d**g led to our meeting, if it allowed you to find me… A mixture of despair and relief washed over me, contorting my face. I couldn’t tell if I was laughing or crying. In the quiet room, a clock chimed, announcing noon.
Simultaneously, the door clicked open. Composing myself, I sat up. The person I loved most entered the room. The one who first taught me love sat beside me, grinning like a child. The bed dipped and rose again. A warm hand touched my cheek. He winked, seeking praise.
“I made it just in time for lunch. Aren’t I good?”
He must have rushed to ensure I wouldn’t eat alone, his hair tousled. He’d bought lilac perfume yesterday at the fragrance shop, claiming it smelled like me. The sweet scent of lilac filled the air.
“What do you think? Doesn’t it smell a bit like you?”
Silly boy. I couldn’t possibly smell of lilacs. You said you wished I smelled nice, hoping it would draw me to you. So, you foolishly surrounded yourself with lilac scents and candles. Since coming here, I’ve been by your side, absorbing your fragrance. You knew this, yet you insisted I smelled of lilacs because you liked the shared scent. Your acting is terrible; it’s all so obvious. I’ve spent my life observing, noticing everything. I pretended not to understand, wanting to push you away. Biting my lip, I hugged him tightly.
“Ailee?” Kin’s surprise was palpable. I burrowed deeper into his stiff embrace, inhaling the strong scent of lilac.
“You smell good.”
I’m so glad I can smell you. So glad you found me. So glad you’re alive. Meeting you once would have been a precious memory, but fate granted us two encounters. That was enough. I could willingly accept this death, embrace the reason for my demise that I had once so resented. I still resented Mother, but I couldn’t resent you, the reason I could endure it all. So, I’ll carry this secret with me. If you knew about the Taumiel, you might regret meeting me that day. I know you care for me as deeply as I care for you. If our roles were reversed, if I knew I was alive at the expense of your life, I would be consumed by guilt. So, I’ll keep our secret.
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