Chapter 124
‘If this continues, we’ll all be driven out, or eliminated by the faction of whatever concubine he eventually takes. It’s better to hold on, even like this. If the choice is between living a long life in misery, or living happily and suffering only a short time at the very end… surely the latter is better.’
She had hesitated, even at the very end. She knew they would eventually suffer. But Illina had assumed the “side effect” was merely a severe, incurable illness. She never imagined it was a death sentence. She believed they would have decades of happiness, followed by a tragic, but brief, end. She had no other choice. The longer she wavered, the closer they came to being exiled.
She gave Ailee the entire vial. The twins, however, she gave only a single pill each. They needed the boost—being merely “talented” wasn’t enough to cover the blemish of Ailee—but giving them too much would attract suspicion.
‘Do something, Ailee. Please!’
After taking the d**g, Lane and Lizzy gained near-genius levels of power. They entered the academy early and quickly gained recognition, and slowly, the people’s resentment and distrust began to fade.
The wild rumors about Ailee quieted somewhat. But, just when it seemed forgotten, someone would inevitably ask about Ailee’s well-being or whereabouts, picking at the family’s one great flaw. It was around then that Ailee stopped seeming pretty to Illina at all.
‘It would have been better if you had never been my child at all!’
Even after taking the d**g, Ailee showed no reaction. Nothing manifested.
The Count now raised his voice at every opportunity, demanding Ailee be abandoned or killed. Illina, still unwilling to go that far, dissuaded him. She resented Ailee, she hated her, her face tightened just at the sight of her… but she could not kill her.
Was it some minuscule speck of maternal love? Or was it because she saw her own past helplessness reflected in the girl, making the act unbearable? Or perhaps…
Illina watched Ailee from a distance, nursing her tangled feelings of love and hate. Then one day, she was the first to notice that Ailee’s health was failing, rapidly.
She learned the truth too late: nine out of ten who took the d**g died. She learned this only after she had given Ailee so much of it.
‘How much did I give her?’
She had given her all she had, though she hadn’t counted the pills. But the strange thing was… she felt no worry at all.
…She felt no regret for giving Ailee the d**g.
A few years ago, she would have said she didn’t want the child to die. But as Ailee continued to be an obstacle, a weight dragging her down, Illina found she no longer felt any sympathy for her.
Of course, she didn’t want to kill Ailee, even now. The impulse surfaced, but she never acted on it. It was logical to remove an obstacle, but even Illina herself didn’t know why she held back.
A sudden, sharp fear did strike her. But it was not for Ailee.
‘Lane and Lizzy!’
‘They took the d**g, too! What do I do? What do I do!’
They had taken far, far less than Ailee, but they had taken it. It had been some time, but the side effects were proving far more dangerous than she had ever imagined.
From that moment on, Illina poured every ounce of her attention into Lane and Lizzy’s health. If one of them so much as caught a cold, she nursed them devotedly. At the slightest hint of a headache, she watched them hawk-eyed before immediately summoning a physician.
‘My precious darlings.’
Thus far, they showed no signs of their power rampaging, no leakage, no physical deterioration. They are geniuses who have overcome even the side effects, Illina thought with a swell of pride.
Lane was developing a slightly antisocial personality, and Lizzy was perhaps a bit too coddled, but so what?
At least they weren’t born an imbecile like someone else.
‘If only that someone wasn’t here, wouldn’t my children shine even brighter? Her name is brought up at every opportunity, blocking the glory my wonderful children deserve. Useless, to the very end.’
Illina stopped walking, her gaze fixing on a shock of white hair in the distance.
The child was vomiting blood. She must have taken a walk while no one was around. From a great distance, Illina watched her retch blood and then, with practiced movements, erase the evidence.
Illina knew instantly why Ailee was vomiting blood. Taumiel. It was because of that d**g—the one that amplified power at a monstrous cost.
The twins had suffered no ill effects from just a few pills. But Ailee… Ailee had consumed tens, perhaps hundreds. Illina had expected her body would begin to fail.
Illina watched Ailee with numb eyes. It was pitiful. Why did she have to be born like that? But pity was not enough to make Illina embrace her.
She admitted it: she was not a good mother. But she was still better than the Count, who never even glanced at the child and spoke only of killing her.
Or perhaps not. Perhaps dying early would be a mercy for that child.
‘I don’t know. I did my best.’
She had tried not to give up on her. But now that things had come to this, it couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t as if she’d starved her, was it? She hadn’t thrown her out. She had provided her with the convenience of living quietly in the house.
‘That’s enough.’
She had, on occasion, raised a hand and struck the girl, but only because she was so scared all the time. It was just a few times, when the child’s frustrating presence became too much. Illina wasn’t the one with the problem. The problem lay with the child.
‘I tried to find a way for Ailee to live, for Lane and Lizzy to live. For everyone to coexist.’
The way she treated Ailee and the twins was different, true, but how could that be a problem? It was only natural. If Ailee had just been born properly, none of this would have ever happened.
‘I did my best.’
Illina stared at Ailee with a vacant gaze. Then, as if she had seen nothing at all, she turned and walked away.
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