The Abandoned and Terminally Ill Lady Married a Monster - Chapter 63

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Chapter 63

“I should apply some soothing lotion when we get back. Your skin is already getting red from a bit of sun.”

I checked the back of my hand. It didn’t seem particularly red. I blinked, wiggling my fingers.

“Dear, does your skin sting or hurt at all?” A worried inquiry followed, suggesting we should return.

“…No, it doesn’t hurt.” I want to stay here longer. I didn’t voice the rest of my thought. Expressing desires aloud was always difficult.

“You should use a parasol.”

I carefully reached for the parasol, my hair still held gently in her hands. Opening it, I tilted it to shield us both.

From a distance, would we look like a family? A normal family enjoying a day by the lake?

I wish she were my mother. The thought came unbidden, and I was startled by my own audacity. The tranquil atmosphere shattered.

I didn’t say that out loud, did I? I felt a strange certainty that I had. While I fretted, a soft voice came from behind me.

“You look just like my daughter.”

Had I heard correctly? Joy warred with a deep unease. If she knew who I was, she wouldn’t say such things.

…At least not a month from now.

“All done.” At her words, I instinctively reached back and touched my hair. The tight braids felt rough beneath my fingertips.

“Let me see your face.”

Fearful that my earlier thought might be revealed in my expression, I hesitated, but eventually turned around.

She looked at me with pride, then gently tucked a short, stray strand of hair behind my ear. Embarrassed by her affectionate gaze, I stared at the ground.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you, dear. It’s why I called for you today.”

Unsure what she would say, I lifted my head. Her face was as serene as before, giving nothing away. My nerves on edge, I waited.

“Ailee, I don’t want you to feel burdened by anything.”

My mouth fell open.

“It’s alright if you can’t do everything. I don’t want to pressure you.” Her words made me flinch. It didn’t seem like she knew anything. She gently took my hand and patted it.

“I know you’re already carrying a heavy burden. I know you’re worried. Suddenly taking on such a big responsibility in the dukedom can’t be easy.”

Out in the open, with no one but us, her voice resonated.

“You don’t have to strive so hard. You’ve already saved my son’s life, and that’s more than enough. To ask for more would be unconscionable.”

Her eyes held only sincerity. Confused, I could only open and close my mouth.

“And dear, I only realized after my husband lost his health and became bedridden… that what truly matters in life isn’t power, or lineage, or anything else, but this very moment.”

What must my face look like right now? How am I supposed to react to this? I don’t deserve such kindness.

I, I…

Her calm voice continued. “I’ve come to realize that the things others prioritize are actually completely unnecessary.”

Worldly things, the things others deem important. It was as if she were whispering that I was acceptable just as I was, without needing to care about others’ opinions.

“All I want is for you to be at peace in this moment.” Her words extinguished my chaotic thoughts. My mind became blank. The constant self-recriminations, the insistence that I wasn’t worthy of comfort, vanished, leaving only a sense of peace.

“So don’t be too intimidated by me, my dear child.”

A ripple spread across the calm lake. I thought it was from the boat moving, but it was just my tears falling onto the bottom of the boat.

I wanted to ask someone again, some omniscient being: You’re all-knowing, so you can see my future. Is this a tragedy or a comedy for me? And for these people, is my existence a tragedy or a comedy? Can you please just answer me once?

By the time I finished crying, I was in her arms. She didn’t say anything more, didn’t ask any questions. She simply held me until my tears subsided.