Chapter 133
After drifting apart and breaking up with him, she lost all interest in dating. Instead, she bought a toy—one just for clitoral stimulation, since penetration never did much for her anyway. But even that was just a phase.
Once job-hunting season began, she got too busy, and her desires naturally faded. Jaha returned to her old lifestyle, sealing the toy away in a locked drawer where it never saw the light of day again.
Thanks to her efforts, she landed a decent job at a fairly well-known company. By 26, Yoo Jaha had become an office worker at a place people would recognize by name.
Being a working adult was even more exhausting than being a student. She’d come home, too tired to lift a finger, roll around aimlessly, then sleep—only to wake up and start preparing for work again. During this time, friends set her up on a few blind dates, and eventually, she hit it off with a guy two years younger.
A former athlete in college, he was broad-shouldered and solidly built. His personality was usually warm and gentlemanly—except in bed, where both his actions and words turned rough.
Perhaps because of his athletic background, he overwhelmed Jaha with stamina and strength far beyond her first partner. Though she never reached o****m with him, she sometimes found herself teetering on the edge of something during their sessions.
Deeper. Harder—
Yearning for a sensation she had never experienced, Jaha shuddered with frustration.
She wanted—no, needed—something much longer and thicker to ruthlessly crush some deep, unknown place inside her. Her body craved that pleasure as if she’d known it before.
As time passed, he became increasingly domineering in bed. He never hit her or used outright vulgar language, but his dirty talk grew progressively cruder.
When it finally crossed into what she considered outright rudeness, Jaha confronted him seriously. In response, he looked genuinely confused and asked:
“I thought you liked it too?”
“What? Me?”
“You didn’t realize? You always get all wet whenever I say those filthy things.”
Overwhelmed by confusion, Jaha fled the scene almost in a daze.
That arrogant little s**t. Did he really think I enjoyed that? Then what was all that humiliation and disgust I felt? B******t.
In the end, that incident led her to cut ties with him. For a while, her life settled into a peaceful routine—just work and home, nothing more.
The third man was a colleague from another department in her company, a friendly and earnest guy who had joined at the same time as her. One day, he nervously handed her an exhibition ticket with a slightly tense expression.
“Want to go together?”
She wasn’t particularly into art, but Jaha didn’t refuse. It wasn’t like he was asking her out—at least not yet.
The museum had a somewhat solemn atmosphere, and they both dressed appropriately. Her colleague, who seemed to have done his homework, kept explaining various pieces to her.
Why is he doing this when there’s a curator? Just as Jaha was sinking into skepticism, her eyes locked onto a gaping, abyss-like hole.
It was as if a black hole had materialized right there—a massive, gaping void punched straight through the wall.
What am I looking at?
Is this real?
Frozen in shock, Jaha barely registered her colleague’s voice beside her, still explaining.
“Ah, isn’t that amazing? They say it’s the most perfect black in the world. A material developed by MIT researchers—it absorbs 99.995% of visible light. There used to be something called Vantablack as the darkest substance, but this one dethroned it.”
Jaha stared blankly at the black void. It looked as if someone had drawn a black circle in the real world using a paint tool. Something so alien, so devoid of any tangible texture—something absurd like that… There could only be one thing like it…
“The Heart of the Black Prince…”
“Huh? What did you just say?”
Snapping out of her daze at her classmate’s voice, Jaha blinked.
“Nothing.”
What was that just now?
The words had slipped out without thought, as if she’d been possessed.
An uneasy feeling lingered, making it hard for her to focus for the rest of the day. Whether her classmate took it as rejection or not, his attitude grew lukewarm afterward—until, about a month later, he approached her again, this time holding out musical tickets. Let’s go together.
After hesitating, Jaha accepted one. He didn’t seem like a bad person, and who knows? Maybe she’d grow to like him.
Days passed—neither particularly good nor bad, just smoothly ordinary.
Until her parents suddenly passed away.
It was an accident.
A drunk driver was at fault.
Sitting alone in the funeral hall, Jaha thought endlessly:
Why did this happen to my parents?
They were good, ordinary people. People who always lived righteously, saying they never wanted to be parents their child would be ashamed of.
There are so many people in this world who deserve punishment. So many beasts wearing human skins who should disappear instead… So why, of all people, did it have to be my parents…?
No tears came. She just sat there, numb, letting time slip by—until an old conversation with her mother, shared while watching TV long ago, began circling in her head.
“Mom, when parents sacrifice their lives for their children… is it just instinct? Like, ensuring their genes carry on?”
“How dare you reduce the love of a great mother to mere ‘species survival instinct’?”
“Then what do you think it is?”
“I don’t know, kid. But it’s not just the parents on TV—most parents would die if it meant their child could live.”
“…You too?”
“Of course. Just the other day, I dreamed the Grim Reaper came to take you, so I fought like hell to make him take me and your dad instead. Wore myself out so much I didn’t even have the energy to cook. So for lunch today, you’re either toasting bread, making ramen, or treating us.”
“Wow, what a scammer. Fine, I’ll play along. What do you want? Chicken? Jokbal? Jajangmyeon?”
“I’ll eat noodles for longevity. I’ll have gan-jjajang. Ask your dad what he wants—and order tangsuyuk and fried dumplings too, right?”
“Yeah, yeah. The tutoring money came in the other day, so get whatever you want.”
“Like you make much from tutoring.”
“Ugh, then you pay.”
“Oh my, our precious daughter works so hard to earn money. Should Mom give you a shoulder rub?”
“Mom…”
“Our princess, my treasure. Your dad lives for you and your mom, you know? For the two women in this house, I’d give my life without a second thought.”
“Dad…”
I never even got to properly take care of you both.
Once I was more settled at work… Once I’d saved up more… Once I had more time… You were both still so healthy—there would be time. That’s what I always told myself, pushing it off again and again. But chances don’t wait forever.
With the help of the funeral home and relatives, she made it through the three-day mourning period. Returning home, the silence was unbearable.
Sitting alone on the living room couch, a hollowness she’d never noticed while her parents were alive swallowed me whole. The tears that hadn’t come during the funeral finally broke through.
Exhausted from crying, she fell asleep and dreamed something strange—a large hand tearing off two perfectly intact sticky notes side by side.
The hand peeled away the two that were firmly attached, then pressed down on the one barely hanging on below, as if to make sure that one stayed put, before calmly drifting away.
If you were going to do that, why not just take the loose one and leave the other two alone?
She couldn’t stop crying.
Even after her leave ended, Jaha didn’t return to work.
She had poured her heart into dozens of cover letters to land that job, yet now she skipped work without a second thought. Maybe she’d regret it later—but that was a problem for future Jaha.
Food held no appeal. She spent entire days curled up on the living room couch, unable to muster the courage to go anywhere else. She wasn’t ready to pack away her parents’ belongings—wasn’t ready to face the remnants of their lives.
Outside, rain fell in a steady, mournful rhythm.
Loneliness seeped into her bones, carried on a chill wind.
Death didn’t scare her. What terrified her was being left behind.
I just want someone here with me. Anyone. Please…
The thought flickered through her wavering consciousness—just as lightning split the sky. A sharp flash lit up the windows.
And then, everything went black.
Discussion
0 CommentsReactions
No comments yet.