Chapter 155
Past me, how could you do this to present me? How am I supposed to handle this?
First, kissing a man I’m not even dating, and now—what?—asking him to touch me there?
Am I out of my mind?
Did I leave a crucial part of my brain back on Earth when I crossed dimensions, Yoo Jaha?
“I’m insane. Absolutely insane.”
The more she replayed it, the more nonsensical it became. Jaha clutched her head in frustration.
Pleasure? Sure, it was good. Unbelievably good. But pleasure is fleeting, while embarrassment lingers forever—you know it, I know it, everyone knows it! So why—why did I make such a stupid choice…?
“It felt good. It really did.”
The ecstasy had been unreal. Even now, just remembering it made her legs weak.
She’d felt like a piano—every touch drawing out a sound, every stroke playing her effortlessly. She’d wanted him to keep playing her forever.
“Haah…”
Her vision blurred as the sensations resurfaced. Without realizing it, her hand had slipped beneath her skirt, fingertips brushing against her c**t.
“Nngh…”
No—this isn’t it. She wanted something more—something skilled, deliberate…
But no matter how she touched herself, the satisfaction wouldn’t come. Frustrated, she pulled her hand away. She was wet, yes, but an indescribable emptiness consumed her.
She craved that intensity again—the kind that made her spine tingle, her whole body tremble beyond control.
A sinking realization hit her:
I can’t be satisfied with just my own hands anymore.
Time flowed on, indifferent to personal circumstances, and Jaha found herself seated across from Rikanan for their usual teatime.
Despite her tense posture, his demeanor was as composed as ever—as if nothing had happened the night before. Part of her was relieved he wasn’t making it awkward, but his nonchalance also left her strangely unsettled.
‘Was an incident like that just trivial to him?’
Then again, with a face like his, it’d be absurd if he hadn’t grown accustomed to such encounters. Battlefields, ballrooms, skies or land—that face had surely weathered it all.
Jaha finished their conversation in an oddly deflated mood and returned to her room, only to writhe under the lingering heat that refused to dissipate.
The next day was the same. And the day after that.
Her body burned with an unnatural fever.
An inexplicable craving bloomed inside her.
It didn’t disrupt her daily life, but whenever alone, her fingers would habitually drift between her legs—yet the pleasure she sought remained frustratingly out of reach.
She felt like an animal in heat.
And whenever she faced Rikanan now, he seemed unbearably alluring.
She’d always acknowledged his flawlessness, but where she once admired him like a sculpture or painting, now she could only see him as a man. How had she ever remained indifferent to him?
‘It’s because of that day.’
The day she’d been drawn to him like a moth to flame.
The day their kiss spiraled into something far beyond.
This was all its fault.
‘Just a hormonal trick.’
She couldn’t surrender to it. Hadn’t she resolved not to recklessly cross into romance? The timing was all wrong, and besides—
Her gaze unintentionally met Rikanan’s silent stare, forcing her to look away.
Ah, this feeling—creeping up whenever she least expected it.
The urge to flee eye contact as if she’d glimpsed something horrifying. The compulsive fear that if she didn’t escape now, some nameless thing lurking beneath his surface would devour her whole.
How could these emotions coexist?
Her heart fluttered because of him, yet she found him unsettling.
She was drawn to him, yet she loathed him.
Her instincts desired the man before her while simultaneously rejecting him.
Jaha didn’t know which impulse to follow. But she knew this precarious balance couldn’t last forever.
One day, the scales would tip.
Perhaps this man was waiting for that very moment—like a seasoned hunter—for the balance to shift in his favor.
“You look pale. Should you rest for today?”
“Ah, no. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”
Spending an hour or two each day sharing stories about Earth over tea was the only “work” Jaha did while living in this mansion. Compared to having all her needs provided for, it was absurdly light labor—skipping even that would’ve been shameless.
Enough useless thoughts. Focus. Just as she scolded herself, he made a suggestion:
“Shall we take our conversation to the garden? The fresh air might do you better than staying indoors.”
When she agreed, a servant brought her outerwear. As Jaha dressed with their assistance, Rikanan draped a sleeveless dark coat over himself.
The sharply tailored longcoat wrapped around his flawless physique, its lines crisp and immaculate.
At a glance, the expensive fabric moved with restrained elegance, tracing graceful arcs through the air before settling.
The sight was so unbearably magnificent that she momentarily lost herself—until the devastatingly handsome man stepped close, smiling as he offered his hand. Jaha gladly placed hers atop his gloved one.
This, she realized anew, was what it meant to encounter a beauty one could never grow accustomed to.
Rikanan grew more dazzling by the day, inspiring awe in the mundane. A lifetime of gazing at him wouldn’t be enough to tire her.
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