Chapter 175
After all, it was just speculation. There’d be time to be upset after confirming the truth.
Steeling herself, Jaha resumed eating—though part of her remained baffled.
How could anyone eat this food so indifferently?
Did she have no sense of taste? Or did she only eat for sustenance?
She’d met one person like that before—a coworker who claimed they’d happily survive on nutrient pills if they could. To Jaha, who adored food, it sounded like madness.
So, a woman who wouldn’t even let him touch her without permission and treated gourmet food like bland sustenance… Some kind of ascetic, then?”
‘A nun?’
The word popped into her head, and Jaha nearly snorted. This man—a walking bundle of desire—in a platonic relationship with a woman of the cloth? Ridiculous.
Shaking her head emphatically as if to physically reject the absurd thought, she suddenly locked eyes with Rikanan across the table, who was watching her with amused delight.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I like seeing you smile.”
The genuine happiness in his expression unsettled her. …Did that woman never smile?
She couldn’t begin to fathom what his past relationship had been like. A woman who disliked physical touch, didn’t enjoy food, and rarely smiled—yet was somehow compelling enough to captivate him. Maybe he got burned so badly he deliberately sought the opposite this time—someone like me…
To cut off the spiraling thoughts, Jaha gave a slight shake of her head.
This is pointless. What’s the use of comparing myself to someone I don’t even know? If she’s prettier, should I wave a white flag and declare defeat?
Honestly, feeling competitive toward a stranger who didn’t even know she existed was laughable.
‘Am I… the jealous type?’
The way she was obsessing over long-dead history suggested as much. Hell, her entire relationship with Rikanan had started because she’d been provoked by other women fawning over him. She’d never considered herself particularly cool-headed, but this was still surprising.
‘Well, at least I’m not seething with rage yet.’
With a wry smile, Jaha sipped her wine and studied the man across from her. Undeniably the most attractive she’d ever met—but if asked whether she was madly in love, she’d hesitate. The idea of him being taken did irk her, though.
‘And if I end up falling harder, will I turn into some <Misery>-level yandere? Might even lose it if he so much as glances at another woman…’
A silly thought made her chuckle under her breath, prompting him—who had been quietly observing—to speak up.
“Tell me what’s so amusing.”
“Oh, nothing important. Just thinking that I might end up being a handful for you in the future.”
“Why’s that?”
“That’s a secret.”
She dodged the question, unable to admit aloud: Because I’m petty, and you might suffer for it.
Fortunately, he didn’t press further, retreating with an easy grace. This dazzlingly handsome man seemed utterly disinterested in any potential disasters on the horizon—as if Jaha, right in front of him, was all that mattered.
That excessively single-minded devotion unsettled her anew.
Sure, the honeymoon phase was supposed to be rose-tinted, but even by those standards, he was… extraordinary.
She knew he liked her—a lot. But when met with that gaze of his, her spine would prickle with unease, and the same question would surge up:
How can he adore me so intensely, so soon?
Falling in love might not require time, but depth does. Yet his eyes were already bottomless, packed with an emotion so dense it stole her breath—
Jaha rubbed the back of her neck, where goosebumps had risen.
◇ ◆ ◇
The relationship with Rikanan was strange.
For one, it was terrifyingly exhilarating.
A dazzling Western-style mansion that made her head spin, lavish feasts covering the table at every meal, flamboyant clothes and jewelry no longer seen in modern society, and a beautiful man whose looks seemed too unreal to belong to this world.
Everything was a continuous stream of unreality. And within that unreality—the dizzying pleasure he gave her. So obscene, so depraved, yet so intoxicatingly good that she couldn’t refuse.
She found herself thinking, several times a day, that she might lose her mind. But at some point, she realized she had become addicted, craving even greater stimulation. And as if in response, his actions grew increasingly extreme.
“Want to suck my c**k, Jaha?”
“Hnng—ah, ahh!”
“If you want to take it, arch your back properly.”
He sometimes took a slightly coercive approach—uttering crude remarks like this or spanking her—but never crossed the line into outright unpleasantness. These transgressions, kept just within the bounds of tolerance, only heightened her excitement, filling Jaha with a sinful thrill.
Up to this point, nothing seemed particularly strange… but even though there were no real issues between them, Jaha would sometimes feel an unsettling dissonance, as if treading on thin ice.
A peculiar sensation, like she was walking down the wrong path.
It was something she had never felt in any past relationship.
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