Chapter 200
“Tell me you love me.”
Despite the commanding tone, his eyes—bloodshot, whites stained red—looked ready to spill tears at any moment.
“Say you love me. Now.”
In truth, it was a plea.
As if possessed, Jaha’s pen moved on its own:
-
- Did he love me?
“B******t.”
The words she’d written made her nauseous.
Love wasn’t a word for this. It was a desecration of the very concept.
Her hand shook violently as she slashed black lines through the sentence.
Did he love me? ✓Lust
“That’s more like it.”
After making her revisions, Jaha coldly scanned through the organized notes.
No matter how one defined the Emperor’s feelings, his obsession with her was undeniably abnormal—to the point of murder. And if this Emperor were to discover Jaha had returned to this world?
‘He’d drag me back to his side by any means necessary.’
There was no way he’d leave his property elsewhere. He’d reclaim her through any method possible, just like before, and then…
Jaha shuddered violently at the mental image of herself as the Emperor’s slave again. The contents of her recent dream overlapped with the thought, turning her stomach. She absolutely couldn’t let that happen.
‘Then I need to stay sharp.’
Jaha picked up her pen again. Next on the list was Cedric.
Cedric
Appearance: Platinum blonde + blue eyes. Can’t recall his exact features, but gave off fairytale prince vibes.
Personality: Warmhearted and affectionate
Notes:
※Likely a slave
-
- based on memory of his clothing (though carried an oddly noble aura unbefitting a slave)
※Killed by the Emperor because of me
No matter how much more she wanted to write, this was all she could remember—and even this was half conjecture.
“Why did he kill him?”
No matter how obsessed the Emperor was with her, he wouldn’t have murdered someone just for making eye contact or exchanging a few words. He was rational enough to draw that line. Which meant… he must have seen Cedric and her doing something more—
At that moment, a scene flashed through Jaha’s mind:
A bobbing Adam’s apple. Hands cupping both cheeks. The narrowing distance between them. Lips about to meet. A rapidly pounding heart.
“We were kissing.”
They’d been caught by the Emperor mid-kiss.
Jaha absently touched her lips with her fingertips. If they’d tried to kiss… did that mean they’d been lovers?
She definitely hadn’t disliked it. On the contrary—she remembered feeling exhilarated. Even as this realization dawned, her pen kept moving, scratching out words in jagged strokes.
Cedric = Rikanan?
Blue eyes. A warm, affectionate personality. A prince-like appearance. And the shared connection of mutual affection.
Her heart pounded at the hypothesis that they might be the same person—but if this were true, there were far too many inconsistencies left unexplained.
How could Cedric, who was once a slave, now hold such a high status?
How did he obtain the Ring of Abrixa, an artifact seemingly reserved for imperial royalty?
Jaha’s hand moved feverishly across the page.
1)Cedric was originally of imperial blood but became a slave due to unforeseen circumstances->㉠Past me dimension-shifted into this world->We met in the imperial palace while I was enslaved->Cedric died->㉡I returned to Earth with lost memories->Years later, present me returned to this world—but arrived at a point before ㉠
If this holds true, then Jaha has performed a dimension-shift against the flow of time. In novel terms, this would be a regression story—where the protagonist rewinds fate to change a tragic future and claim happiness.
“Or…?”
2)㉠->㉡, but Cedric regressed to before his enslavement->Cedric, knowing the future, struggles to change his fate and succeeds->He retains his imperial status, achieving a happy ending->Present me returns to this world
This scenario, too, is just as common as the first if you read enough novels.
‘What other possibilities could there be?’
As she pondered, Jaha suddenly realized her perspective was biased. She wanted Rikanan to be Cedric—so unconsciously, she had been forcing every piece to fit that assumption.
It wasn’t that she harbored some profound affection for Cedric, desperately wishing Rikanan were him. No. If Rikanan was Cedric, then he definitely wasn’t the Emperor—and that was why she wanted to believe it.
Jaha buried her face in her palms.
‘Of course.’
He wasn’t her first love. And likely wouldn’t be her last. But this was the first time she’d ever liked someone this much.
Her past relationships hadn’t been like this. Being together was nice, but being apart was fine too. There’d been a faint sense of fulfillment, but no real longing when they ended.
If measured in temperature, they were neither scorching flames nor icy chasms—just lukewarm.
And she hadn’t disliked that tepidness. In fact, it was a relief. She wasn’t the type to stake her entire life on romance, so moderation had felt right.
Or so she’d thought.
Discussion
0 CommentsReactions
No comments yet.