Chapter 217
Someone once said: The best revenge is to live a happy life, free from hatred.
Another claimed: Revenge only breeds more revenge.
Yet another declared: Revenge is futile.
Besides, I had no strength, ability, or means to take revenge in the first place.
So all I had to do was live happily in my own way.
“Jaha.”
Why couldn’t I do that?
Like clinging to a finished novel, why did I keep grasping at that ended affair, chewing it over alone, again and again?
Wasting my heart on worthless memories, boiling inside as if I’d fall ill from pent-up anger—
Jaha clutched her chest.
“…As you please.”
“Jaha?”
“Who said… it’s over as you please—?”
The words spilled out unbidden, and in that muttered phrase, Jaha recognized her true feelings.
Perhaps this was just pointless stubbornness.
A worn-out catchphrase came to mind—You may have started it, but I’ll decide the end.
Realistically, she should’ve been grateful.
An opponent she could never defeat had stopped throwing punches and stepped out of the ring first—what a mercy that was.
Had they truly fought, Jaha wouldn’t have stood a chance against the Emperor, let alone taken revenge.
What she was doing now was like being beaten to a pulp, then stubbornly protesting, “I haven’t even landed a single hit yet—who said you could end the match?”
Even though an overtime would’ve left her even more bloodied, she refused to admit her helplessness—unable to control anything, let alone the final outcome.
Suddenly, the world plunged into darkness.
Warmth against her eyelids—his palm had covered her eyes.
“Ah…”
Only then did Jaha realize she was crying.
What do I do? I must look pathetic.
What should I say if he asks?
She worried, but he didn’t ask anything.
As she quietly soaked in that considerate warmth, something hot surged in her chest. Biting her lips to stifle a sob, Jaha made a decision.
Let it go.
Now, she would free herself—from the buried past, from painful memories, from the Emperor.
And she would try to live happily with this man.
It might not be the satisfying, righteous ending where good triumphs over evil—
but for her, this was the best path.
Yes. This is how it should be…
◇ ◆ ◇
Jaha tried her best to keep the promise she made to herself.
Whenever memories of the Emperor surfaced, she pushed them out of her mind as forcefully as she could.
On nights when she dreamed of the past, she drove herself relentlessly—by any means necessary—to leave no room for dwelling on it. Whether it was burying herself in books or exhausting her body, she refused to let the memories take root.
In the end, her physical limits meant she spent more time on the former.
Ironically, though she had once struggled through studying as a student, now—without anyone forcing her—she threw herself into it more passionately than ever before.
It was bearable. After all, anything becomes sweet when it serves as an escape.
Back in her school days, the sound of the TV from the living room during exam periods had been unbearably tempting—programs she wouldn’t glance at otherwise. Now, studying had simply taken the place of that TV noise. If it meant running from something worse, even studying could become a refuge.
Perhaps her efforts paid off. At some point, the nightmares of the past stopped coming.
Still, Jaha didn’t let up.
By the time she finally felt she had gained enough knowledge to live in this world, she voiced a thought she’d long held:
“I want to work.”
The hand that had been stroking her hair froze mid-motion.
“I want to find something I can do,” she repeated. She couldn’t—and didn’t want to—stay forever as a guest, relying on this man’s kindness.
“Jaha, if you need money, I can—”
“I won’t take it from Rikanan. I’ve already relied on you too much.”
“‘Relied’? That’s absurd. What have I even done for you?”
He frowned slightly—not out of modesty, but as if he genuinely believed it.
This, from the man who periodically filled her wardrobe with dresses, shoes, and accessories, some so extravagant they looked like they belonged to noblewomen in classical paintings. The kind that screamed “This must cost a fortune” at first glance.
Of course, I’m no expert in jewelry, so I can’t be sure of their exact value. Maybe, despite their dazzling appearance, they aren’t as expensive as one might assume… but even so, the cost couldn’t have been trivial. And given his unusual sense of money, all the more so.
‘In the first place, an ordinary office worker and a nobleman’s financial sensibilities were never going to align.’
Their standards were completely different. Arguing point by point would only be exhausting, so Jaha decided to let it go without protest.
“Anyway, I want to earn money on my own.”
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