Chapter 5
II. An Incomplete Divorce
“I came because I have something to say.”
Lucius, who had been reviewing documents in his study as usual, seemed slightly taken aback by his wife’s sudden appearance.
“At this hour?”
His gaze naturally drifted towards the clock on the wall before gesturing to the opposite side.
“Please, have a seat.”
“You asked me if I was happy in this married life.”
Instead of sitting in the chair he offered, Charlotte got straight to the point. She felt that if she didn’t, she would just turn around and leave again. Just as she had done countless times before.
“No, I’m not happy at all.”
“…….”
“So, let’s get a divorce.”
After finishing her words, she took a deep breath. Once she had finally said it out loud, it felt trivial compared to all the time she had spent agonizing over it. A feeling somewhere between relief and emptiness swirled in her mouth.
At the sudden declaration of divorce, Lucius seemed to freeze completely, not moving a muscle. A blot of black ink spread across the document under the sharp tip of his pen. Looking closer, the tips of his fingers holding the pen were trembling slightly.
‘Was he… shocked?’
Though Lucius was a man of extremely few facial expressions, his agitation was easily readable this time. So even a man who seemed like he wouldn’t bleed if pricked could be shocked. Amusingly, she felt a shallow sense of satisfaction.
“Why…”
Lucius’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Why are you suddenly saying this?”
“Is it sudden to you? You know. You know our relationship isn’t normal. How can we be called a couple when we’re worse off than strangers?”
Charlotte stared intently at Lucius’s face before adding.
“I’m surprised. I thought you’d be happy. Isn’t this what you wanted? For me to ask for a divorce first? You didn’t have the courage to bring it up yourself, so you just waited for me to get tired and give up first. ……How cowardly.”
“That’s a misunderstanding. I never wanted that, nor have I ever even considered it.”
“Then tell me. Why do you avoid me? Why don’t you hold me?”
Under her pressing questions, Lucius closed his mouth.
Ah, again. This tedious silence. Even at the moment of saying goodbye, you refuse to tell me anything until the very end.
“This is our problem. It would be better if we at least fought like everyone else, but we can’t even do that.”
Whenever conflict arose, it was always her role to question and confront, and each time, Lucius consistently responded with silence. It always ended there. Like wet firewood, no matter what she did, it wouldn’t catch fire. It just rolled on the floor, rotting away.
“Do you know? From the moment my name became Charlotte Valentin, I have been withering away day by day. If you didn’t see it, it’s because you were indifferent to me. Even though you couldn’t have missed it if you had really looked at me just once.”
His clear blue eyes wavered precariously, like a small boat adrift on a vast ocean. After a long while, a voice, seemingly squeezed out, finally emerged from Lucius’s red lips, which had been slightly parting and closing repeatedly.
“…You said you were happy.”
“…….”
“I overheard your conversation at the gathering by chance.”
At that moment, Charlotte’s mind went distant as the memory of the previous gathering flashed by quickly. The image of herself, gathering people and spouting all sorts of pretense and hypocrisy in front of them, pretending to be happy.
‘He heard all of that?’
So the presence she had felt outside the drawing-room was none other than her own husband. Shame, at being caught in her most detestable state by the very person she least wanted to see it, made her face burn and her body tremble. What must Lucius have thought to himself when he heard that obvious lie? He probably found it ridiculous.
“If you heard it, then you should know. It was all a lie.”
Charlotte firmly clenched her trembling lips. A coppery taste of blood spread in her mouth, but she couldn’t even feel the pain.
“Do you know why I told those lies?”
As expected, no answer came.
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