Chapter 6
Tick, tock. The monotonous sound of the second hand sharply pierced the heavily sunken air of the study.
Blue veins rose on the back of Lucius’s pale hand holding the pen. The blot of black ink that had spread on the document had now grown uncontrollably large. Staring quietly at the stain spreading across the paper, Charlotte thought it looked just like their ruined relationship, or perhaps her own messy heart.
Whether he truly didn’t know the answer or was choosing silence despite knowing, Lucius, once again, failed to provide any answer and, as always, took a step back, choosing avoidance.
“Regarding the divorce… please give it more thought.”
Lucius, after pausing to steady his breath, continued.
“It’s not just a matter concerning the two of us, is it? It’s not an issue to be decided lightly, so I would like us to take some time and think it over slowly.”
“Our time living as a couple is barely a year; ours is not a relationship worth grieving over. It would be better for both of us to end it quickly.”
“Charlotte.”
His lightly trembling eyelashes and stiff expression made him look as if he desperately wanted to escape this situation. But she still had something left to ask him.
“Are you happy in this married life?”
Charlotte threw back the very question Lucius had asked her that night. It wasn’t out of a desire for revenge or retribution. She was genuinely curious. About his honest feelings on this disastrous marriage.
Leaning forward slowly, placing both hands on the desk, she looked straight into Lucius’s eyes.
“Lucius, do you love me?”
Their gazes collided at a distance close enough to feel each other’s breath. Just as the breath touching her cheek felt like it might falter, Lucius was the first to look away. That was answer enough.
“See.”
It was a relationship that would end if you just let me go. Swallowing the rest of her words, Charlotte rose to her feet with self-derision.
“My mind is made up and it won’t change. So you should make your decision too.”
***
Charlotte ruminated on her failed marriage. It felt futile that all the effort she had poured into becoming an excellent wife was coming to an end with just one word: divorce. Everything she had cultivated throughout her life was useless here, and the life she had dreamed of did not exist in this place.
‘If I get divorced, my parents will immediately start looking for another match for me.’
Whether she liked it or not, remarriage was unavoidable. After all, she was still right in the prime marriageable age, a daughter of a prestigious family, with the responsibility and duty to ensure the family lineage continued. Of course, the idea was to remarry and live well. This time, not as an excellent wife, but as a happy one.
But what does one have to do, and how, to become a happy wife? And how much time and effort must one pour into it? Even if she puts in that effort, can she truly become happy?
She felt a sense of despair, but no other options came to mind. She could only fervently hope she wouldn’t regret this decision.
On the morning they were to go to apply for the divorce papers. When Charlotte, having finished getting ready, came down the stairs, Lucius was already waiting for her by the front entrance.
“It seems I’ve kept you waiting a long time.”
“Not at all. It’s just… I woke up a bit early, that’s all.”
His voice was calm and even-toned, and his face was as impassively polite as ever. Apart from slight darkness under his eyes, he didn’t seem particularly different from usual. The figure who had come to her bedroom just days ago, showing unease and asking her to reconsider the divorce, had vanished without a trace.
“What will you do if I say I cannot accept this divorce?”
“If you don’t agree to it amicably, then it will proceed to litigation, I suppose.”
Had he already sorted out his feelings in that short time? She felt an inexplicable sense of disconnect, but instead of questioning him, Charlotte silently got into the carriage.
After all, the divorce was decided, and nothing would change.
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