Chapter 39
Naturally, I sat down on the stairs and patted the space beside me.
“Sit down. Let’s talk while sitting down. Aren’t your legs tired?”
“…Okay.”
Ji Hwa Sung promptly sat down and asked me about something that had been on his mind.
Hyung.
“How do you know about our company’s internal affairs that even I don’t know?”
I kind of expected him to ask that.
‘How would I know? When Liu Wei went to China, Director Shin who got investment from there also resigned. How could I not know? I’ve been with AG for 8 years, man.’
But I couldn’t say that…
I moistened my lips with my tongue, pondering over what to say.
After a brief moment of contemplation, I said,
“Half of it was speculation.”
I decided to mix truth and lies, fifty-fifty.
It seemed more natural that way. Ji Hwa Sung’s eyes widened at my response.
“…What?”
“Half of it was speculation. Even if you came from a different agency, you hear things. AG has been trying to expand into the idol sector, recruiting Director Shin from outside and bringing in Chinese capital.”
“What does that have to do with my position….”
“I was just trying to stop you. And honestly, with the Chinese capital involved, they’ll have to push the Chinese members, like it or not. Director Shin would also prefer a Chinese member in the group over an AG trainee who’s hardly been influenced by him. It’ll be easier for him.”
Ji Hwa Sung’s face turned thoughtful at my words. I hastily added more, worried he might misunderstand.
“Gao Yan is just an individual trainee. You know he’s from Hong Kong, right?”
“Yeah, I know! As much as I may seem unaware, you think I wouldn’t know that?”
Well, it seemed like he didn’t know.
In any case, Ji Hwa Sung nodded, opening and closing his mouth several times as if he had something to say but wasn’t sure how to articulate it.
“So, hyung….”
Why did you stop me there?
Ji Hwa Sung was really, surprisingly smart.
“If you knew all that, you could have just let me ruin myself. When Gao Yan brought up hyung’s point, it would have been a good edit for you.”
Ji Hwa Sung counted off his mistakes on his fingers.
“Unnecessarily scolding Logan, yelling that I’m struggling alone. You know, stuff like that. A self-centered leader and the hyung who cleans up after him. Wouldn’t that make for a pretty broadcast narrative?”
“Huh. And you thought all that but still fought like that earlier?”
“At that moment, I was sure I wouldn’t be the victim of negative editing. Unless the editing favored me. I’m honestly answering you.”
Ji Hwa Sung clenched his now fully bent fingers into a fist, then looked straight at me, chewing over each word carefully.
“So, hyung, give me an honest answer too.”
Why did you do it?
“…….”
I momentarily closed my mouth and looked at Ji Hwa Sung.
His bleached yellow hair, pale face, and even the uneven eyelids from fatigue.
All of it coming together in a way that suited him, the member of Arrows I already knew, Ji Hwa Sung.
Memories of our shared struggles flooded my mind, along with times I had caused him undue hardship.
“Why do I have to go there? I don’t want to! I just want to quit everything!”
Recalling me drunk, vomiting on stage, collapsing, running out of fan meetings. Even Hwa Sung grabbing my shoulder and crying as I screamed about not being able to make the schedule.
“Hyung, I know it’s hard. I know you’ve struggled. But this way….”
It’s hard for me, too.
Looking at that face, how guilty did I feel?
So, I gave Ji Hwa Sung the honest answer he was looking for.
“…Just, you’re good, you know.”
“What does that mean? What does that have to do with you covering for me?”
“I wanted to debut with you.”
“…….”
I continued talking even as Ji Hwa Sung stayed silent.
“I’m going to debut this time for sure. But I thought it would be good if someone as skilled as you were in our team.”
“What….”
“I’m better at singing than rapping, and better at dancing than singing. Out of the 18, you’re the best at rapping. Aren’t you a vital resource for the team? That’s why I did it. Is it strange?”
Ji Hwa Sung was silent for a moment. But I knew who he was thinking about as he remained quiet.
I playfully pushed for an answer from Ji Hwa Sung.
“Seems like that answered your question. Right?”
Ji Hwa Sung, who had been hanging his head all this time, finally let out a long breath he had been holding. His bright blonde hair fluttered wildly with his breath.
“…No, not at all. You’re trying to make it sound cool that you want to cling to me, hyung.”
“What? Hey, when did I ever try to cling to you.”
“Okay. Got it.”
Before I could even finish, Ji Hwa Sung abruptly stood up, looking straight at me.
His eyes were shining again like a bright yellow sun.
“I’ll let it slide this time. I’ll start carrying properly again from tomorrow. Let’s forget what happened today.”
I couldn’t help but burst into a knowing laugh at Ji Hwa Sung’s familiar expression.
“…Do whatever you want, man.”
As I was reconciling with an old member.
Outside, the sun resembling Ji Hwa Sung’s eyes began to rise.
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