Chapter 61
“You… you never seemed to have any lingering attachment to the things that left your hands. And besides… at the time, neither of us were of age. I… I couldn’t dare to approach you recklessly.”
“You could’ve returned them through Bishop Isabella.”
“… I gave you something better instead.”
“…”
Somehow, every time she lost something, the circumstances at the convent mysteriously improved.
Frowning, Daphne let out a long sigh.
“Even so, this isn’t something I can just let slide. What do you think would’ve happened if someone other than me had discovered these misguided and inappropriate actions of yours? Did it never occur to you that I might be the one to end up in trouble?”
At her words, his lips parted silently for a moment before he finally managed to speak.
“I… I wasn’t caught.”
“I know. That means someone else could have easily found out, too. I discovered this place by accident, just from touching a wall the wrong way.”
“…”
Seeing Theodore press his lips together tightly, Daphne softened her tone, trying to coax him.
“Your Eminence… Cardinal Theodore. If a scandal breaks out between a high-ranking priest like yourself and a mere novuce born under three stars… who do you think will bear the brunt of the blame?”
The color drained from Theodore’s face. He shook his head furiously.
“No, no! You’ve done nothing wrong! The sin is mine… I’m the sinner…!”
Tears welled up in those golden eyes. The thought that Daphne might be condemned because of him was unthinkable. It mustn’t happen. He couldn’t, wouldn’t allow it.
Shaking his head furiously, he crept forward on his knees until he was right before her. Pressing his forehead to the back of her hand, he confessed in a voice thick with emotion.
“I dared… I dared to harbor personal feelings for you. You were the first to ever offer me such gentle kindness… You gave me something that felt like it belonged only to me, for the first time… And so, I—I came to hold you in my heart.”
Those tear-filled golden eyes pleaded with her.
“I craved your traces, followed you with my eyes, used things touched by your scent! I exposed desires a priest should never bear…!”
He was the only sinner worthy of being cast into hellfire, and so the punishment should be his alone.
He would shoulder the guilt entirely, as was right. All he asked of her—only of her—
“…Please.”
Don’t blame yourself.
“…Please…”
Blame me, and me alone.
“…”
Daphne looked down at the broad back nearly prostrate at her feet and curled her free hand into a fist.
Why…
The hand he had touched was damp.
Why does he keep saying he’s alone?
How could there be only one sinner worthy of hellfire?
Even if he had nurtured feelings a priest should never entertain, even if he had unearthed the desire she had meant to keep quietly to herself and forced her to confront a pleasure that she was meant to bear alone…
Every result has its cause, doesn’t it?
Now that they had both come to know a pleasure they were never meant to understand, wasn’t it obvious that they had shared in it? And yet, with him reacting like this, it made it seem as if he had forced herself on her.
‘But I wanted it too.’
Clicking her tongue silently to herself, Daphne reached out and gently stroked Theodore’s back. Under her palm, the firm muscles twitched in surprise.
It was strange. That such a large back could tremble so helplessly under just her touch.
Stranger still was the way she found it endearing. Despite his frame being broad enough to swallow her whole, this back felt small to her now. Looking down at the man whispering vows to shoulder all guilt alone, to spare her from any blame, she felt a sudden and overwhelming urge to cradle him.
“…Stand up.”
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