Chapter 237
Neilla wiggled her fingers and touched the warm cup, then opened her mouth.
“I’m getting married.”
Mana paused for a moment, stopping his hand as he was about to pour more tea, then moved again and grasped the handle of the teapot.
“…I see.”
Neilla nodded quietly and continued speaking.
“Marriage… is fine. My father loves me, he said he found a good person for me… but.”
Neilla paused again, feeling a sudden surge of emotion, and took a deep breath.
“My father took away all my drawings… He told me to stop doing such useless things… I’m so scared. I’m afraid everything I have will disappear, and I’m also afraid that everything I knew will be turned upside down.”
Drip, drip.
Even after crying for so long and taking a deep breath this time, tears welled up with a feeling of sadness. In truth, she resented her father. She hated that everything she liked was treated like scraps of paper, and that she had to learn things for her future husband that she didn’t even know what they were. Neilla realized that only then.
“I, I keep resenting my father. I don’t even want to get married. I want to keep drawing. My father loves me, but I shouldn’t be like this… Sob… Will the goddess forgive someone like me?”
Mana quietly looked at Neilla with pitiful eyes and then opened his mouth.
“The goddess will say that she cannot forgive you.”
“Yes? As I thought, I’m too bad,”
“Because it’s not a sin. It’s only natural that she can’t forgive something that doesn’t need forgiveness.”
Neilla stared at Mana with wide eyes. He felt different from usual, somehow. Mana smiled faintly at her.
“It’s late, so let’s go inside for today. And please visit here again tomorrow.”
Mana was a kind person. He didn’t ask Neilla anything more and only took her back to make sure she was safe, without doing anything else.
Neilla, who returned home safely thanks to Mana, felt an overwhelming flutter. It was an unfamiliar feeling. She felt at ease and comfortable with him, and she also cried.
‘It’s probably because he’s a priest…? Let’s not have any disrespectful thoughts.’
Back in her quiet room, Neilla pressed down on her chest and tried to calm her heart.
After that, Neilla visited the temple every day. The temple was originally one of the few places where she could freely go, and Neilla had secretly drawn or rested in the temple garden many times.
As she exchanged questions and answers with Mana, at some point, she stopped thinking about her father. Mana simply let her be free. He encouraged her to do what she wanted to do as much as she wanted. Neilla felt comfortable and liked him. The heart that had been sharply wounded at home by her father, her future husband, and her teachers seemed to melt comfortably at the temple, at least.
Then one day, Mana handed her a bundle.
“What is this?”
“Open it. It’s yours, Neilla-nim.”
He simply said that and smiled gently. Neilla opened the bundle with a puzzled heart.
“…This is…!”
Neilla was so surprised that she covered her mouth. It was truly hers. There was a brush that she had held so many times that it was worn in the shape of her hand. Of course, she wouldn’t be able to use this brush for the rest of her life, but it was a very precious item to her. Besides that brush, various other drawing tools were packaged there together. Tears welled up in Neilla’s eyes at the sight of the items she thought she would never see again.
“How did you…”
“It took some effort to find them, but thanks to you coming to find me right after these items were thrown away, it wasn’t too late. I bought new ones that I thought you might need to replace the other tools, but I don’t know if they’re right. Please tell me if there’s anything missing.”
Neilla unknowingly grabbed Mana’s hand. She didn’t know what to say; she was so overwhelmed that she couldn’t say anything at all. Mana, seeing Neilla looking up at him with teary eyes, turned his head slightly to avoid her gaze.
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