The Sand Bride - Chapter 53

Considering his complexion, it wasn’t surprising, but the problem was that the slave was the father of the woman in Karzhen’s inner chambers, and even more problematic was her likely reaction upon being told this fact.

Just imagining it gave him a headache. Karzhen rubbed his forehead, letting out an exasperated sigh. How would she act if she knew? She would cry, right? Crying would be natural; it would be a relief if she didn’t throw a tantrum. Karzhen’s stomach churned again at the thought of such a scene.

When Esther learned that her father was alive, and that Karzhen would make him well, she changed astonishingly.

Now Karzhen could see Esther reading and rereading her father’s letters, or pondering while writing a letter, stroking her cheek with the tip of her quill, instead of staring out the window or crouching like a dog on the floor. It went without saying that the latter pleased him far more.

“Lord Karzhen. This is the reply I wrote today. I-I hope you’ll deliver it…… very much.”

Even though it was just a flimsy piece of paper, she treated it as if it were the most precious thing, rubbing her hands on her clothes to avoid crumpling it or staining it with her tears before handing over the letter. Recalling that sight, Karzhen smiled mischievously before his face hardened again.

Once the thought came, his throat became parched, and at the same time, his impatience and anxiety grew even more. Karzhen, who knew how to pinpoint his own desires, also knew precisely why he was anxious. He was concerned that Esther might revert to her former self.

He was aware it was a ridiculous thing, but he couldn’t help it.

The fruit, which he had accidentally tasted from a tree he didn’t even know was bearing anything, was so sweet that Karzhen unconsciously found himself salivating whenever he saw that tree. The gap between the woman she was now and the woman she might not be was simply too vast.

Even with meals, before, Esther would barely eat whatever was given to her, so Karzhen knew nothing of what Esther enjoyed or what her expression looked like when she enjoyed food. But now, he knew that Esther preferred seafood over meat, and if she ate meat, she preferred poultry over four-legged animals, and for dessert, she preferred fruit over honey or sugar.

When she ate something delicious, Esther’s cheeks would faintly blush, and her lips would gently relax. Her lips would purse delicately each time she savored a taste, her cheeks would puff……. It was a joy to watch such things.

And then…… Karzhen’s eyes became as deep and still as a well.

‘I gave her a golden comb.’

He recalled a beautiful golden comb, crescent-shaped, inlaid with a jade butterfly.

It was one of the gifts he had given Esther; her thin hair would easily tangle after hours of lovemaking. Each time, Esther would awkwardly untangle it with her fingers, and Karzhen, having seen this by chance, had ordered a servant to give Esther the golden comb.

He had completely forgotten he had mentioned it, but that night, Karzhen saw Esther gently untangling her tangled hair with her white fingers again. Her fingers were miserably thin like twigs, but her nails were shiny, which subtly pleased him.

However, Esther kept combing her hair only with her fingers. He had given her a comb. Karzhen endured his tongue in his mouth twitching, desperate to move. Had the servant been lazy after being ordered to give her the comb? He was annoyed by her clumsy attempts to untangle her hair with her fingers.

‘…….’

It was then that Esther’s hand stopped. She turned her head and subtly glanced towards Karzhen. She seemed to be gauging whether he was asleep or not. Karzhen closed his eyes and breathed at a regular rhythm, pretending to be asleep. It wasn’t a conscious act; he even cursed himself for being foolish after doing it. But before he could feel regret, Esther let out a sigh of relief and sat up. Her waist, bent below the bed, formed a perfectly round curve, smooth enough for even moonlight to glide over. Then, a rustling sound was heard.

As Esther took something from under the bed and straightened her waist, Karzhen resumed his even breathing. The golden comb in her hand glittered like fragments of stars in the moonlight.

Esther carefully began to comb her hair. A soft, tickling rustling sound was heard. Her previously unruly hair, sticking out like desert sand swept by the wind, now lay in neat strands.

Karzhen gazed at the sight, mesmerized. A very strange sensation gently pressed upon him. His entire body was rigidly tense, making it difficult to breathe properly, yet he couldn’t stop looking at Esther out of the corner of his eye. It was equally unfamiliar and uncomfortable, yet also a feeling he wanted to keep experiencing.

‘This…… damn it.’

Karzhen muttered curses to himself in exasperation.

Such, such strange moments.

It wasn’t just that day. Whenever he saw Esther, he had to feel that way quite often thereafter. It felt as if something very heavy was placed around his sternum, and sometimes it made him so engrossed he would forget to breathe. Or it felt like an intense sense of satisfaction was spreading throughout his entire body.

He wanted to keep looking, and she kept coming to mind. It wasn’t a bad feeling. Rather, it would be more accurate to say it was close to joy. So, Karzhen stopped delving deeply into that emotion.

But he’s dying. He’s going to die. Karzhen closed his eyes and tried to predict Esther’s reaction after he told her this fact.

First, she would cry, and then she would ask if there was no way for him to help, or perhaps plead to see her father. Or she might ask to be sent back to her homeland. Neither option was what Karzhen wanted.

‘And what difference would it make if I told her?’

Based on his purely subjective decision, he impatiently rubbed his face, eventually choosing silence.