Side Story 2.10
But Esther still remained turned away without a single movement, so Karzhen would stick to her back like a tortoise’s shell, caressing her cheeks, stroking her waistline, or rubbing his face against the back of her neck.
At first, Esther would flinch and stiffen every time, but as time passed, she would only toss and turn as if he were a bit of a nuisance.
She was still afraid and overwhelmed by having s*x with Karzhen. He was always urgent, too intense and fast. Whenever she saw Karzhen panting and lunging at her with his massive frame, Esther couldn’t help but shrink back with tension even amidst the pleasure.
After the wedding, there were times she even caught a cold from physical exhaustion because he had lunged to take her day in and day out. Karzhen was too large and strong compared to Esther, but he didn’t really realize that.
No, even if he did know, he wouldn’t have been able to give it up. That was how much mixing bodies with Esther meant more than simple physical pleasure to Karzhen.
Every time they rubbed their bodies together and tumbled, he wanted to be confirmed and assured of the fact that Esther was truly by his side, breathing and alive.
When the pleasure began to wash over her unbearably, Esther often wet her eyes. Whenever he saw those moist, turquoise eyes above her reddened lids, Karzhen was seized by a distant sensation, as if he had fallen from an endless cliff.
Karzhen felt like he could finally understand humans who became addicted to hallucinogenic d***s. If the scum who used d***s felt this kind of pleasure from them, who could possibly refuse it?
But for Esther, Karzhen’s constant touching whenever he had the chance—even though she was struggling with her growing belly—was nothing but a burden. Even if he didn’t insert himself, he would complain as if he weren’t satisfied, even after sandwiching his e***t c**k between her thighs and rubbing it until he e********d, or even after m**********g by hand.
‘Can’t we just sleep for one day?’
It was true that she also felt pleasure from mixing bodies with Karzhen, but for Esther, who was more than satisfied and became exhausted after just once or twice, it was deathly difficult to accept all of Karzhen’s lust.
Then, she suddenly even came to think that Karzhen was being too annoying, and Esther soon found herself startled by her own thought. That Karzhen was ‘annoying.’ Was he a man who could be described with such a word?
No matter how much she became his bride and even conceived a child, Esther thought he would forever be a scary, incomprehensible person to her. She had only vowed to endure for the sake of those she loved, but she now dimly realized that her vow was gradually changing.
There were more moments when Karzhen seemed strange rather than scary. There were more times she revealed her emotions in front of him rather than suppressing them. There were more times she felt the impulse to hit him rather than run away from him. He, Karzhen, was truly…….
Not a monster, but something else……. He looked like an incomprehensible ‘person’……. Esther felt this way more and more as time passed.
At that moment, she felt a sensation as if something moved in her belly. Esther stiffened, then carefully closed her eyes and tried to imagine what the baby inside her looked like.
What kind of baby would it be? A baby who resembled Karzhen more? What kind of appearance and personality would it have? Would it be possible for me to love this child as my mother loves me?
Dozens of complex thoughts tangled together, gripping Esther’s mind and shaking it in all directions. Eventually, she grew completely exhausted and gave up on imagining altogether.
If she was too anxious, she could ask her father later. Or it would be good to have a secret consultation in the next letter she sent to her mother. Esther was not alone, and she had someone to open up to about her feelings.
Realizing this, space was created in her chest, which had been packed tight with worries. But having become exhausted by those arduous contemplations for even a brief moment, she fell into a deep sleep, not caring what Karzhen—who was embracing her from behind—was doing or what kind of face he was making.
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