The Sand Bride - Side Story 2.21

“Did you wake up?”

Esther moved her steps and carefully picked up the baby. She was now very used to holding the baby. Esther gently rocked and soothed the baby in that state, but strangely, it wouldn’t stop crying easily.

“It seems you’re having trouble sleeping. Then I’ll sing you a song.”

After a moment’s thought, Esther cleared her throat and began to hum a lullaby that her parents had sung to her in the past.

And a moment later, a soft melody floated through the room. It was a song passed down from parent to child, and from that child to their own child, in her homeland. Though the singers and listeners grow through the flow of time, this lullaby alone would forever flow softly, be passed down, and lull them to sleep.

However, this lullaby came to remain for one person with a different meaning as well. As a dazzlingly beautiful sight, as an unforgettable shock, as an intense realization. Thus, Karzhen watched, entranced, as Esther hummed the lullaby.

Karzhen knew. Esther’s affection belonged entirely to the child in her arms and to her father and mother, and that what was given to him was merely the emotion connected to that beloved child.

He realized suddenly but intensely that the only position he could occupy was the role of giving to her, that he, who had exploited all his life, was now destined to be exploited—but no resentment arose.

Isn’t it natural for the weak to be exploited? Karzhen had merely thought he was acting weakly toward Esther, but it was all an illusion. Before Esther, he had become all too weak. He was so weak he couldn’t bear it.

He hadn’t been the one to lock her in a greenhouse. The lock was attached to the inside of the greenhouse where Esther was. Karzhen was merely in a state of being terrified and anxious that she might break it and come out, and thus dry up and die.

That was it. He loved Esther, and thus she became a ‘terror’ to him and finally made Karzhen into a human. As long as she existed, he would be nothing more than ‘just’ Karzhen Sha Gamore. Not the child of a King, not the Sayar. Just Karzhen Sha Gamore.

Karzhen accepted that with satisfaction.

* * *

As she sang the lullaby, the baby fell back into a deep sleep in an instant, as if he had never been awake. Holding the baby, Esther sat down on the nearby bed. Then, she felt Karzhen hesitate, yet follow her and sit down as well—though she wondered if it was just her imagination.

Him, hesitating.

Esther laughed inwardly, thinking that it was a truly unfitting sentence. But as Karzhen cautiously reached out his arms and pulled her waist into an embrace, she couldn’t help but admit that the nonsensical sentence was not a lie.

Silently, Esther gazed at Karzhen’s arms wrapped around her. The lyrical night stirred memories of the past, and she soon quietly realized—she had not forgiven Karzhen. The pain she had endured was far too deep for that.

But how to soothe his anger, how to make him grant a favor……. Esther had slowly learned all of it, and with each new thing she realized, a solution to her fear began to form.

For even with a terrifying beast that brings harm to oneself, if one knows how to handle it, fear is bound to diminish.

Of course, she would live like someone who had once been bitten by a dog, jumping in fright whenever the dog bared its teeth, but if one knew when the dog would pounce and how to soothe it so it wouldn’t, they would try another way instead of just running away.

That was exactly how Esther was. Thus, she found the courage to live by his side instead of running away from the dog. It was because a belief had blossomed that as long as she didn’t leave, he wouldn’t harm her.

Karzhen’s breath, as he embraced her from behind, tickled the nape of her neck. Seeing his thick, solid arms encircling her waist with fingers interlaced, Esther let out a shallow sigh and adjusted the baby in her arms. Then, she continued her lullaby.

Humming the lullaby that had put her younger self to sleep, Esther gave a faint smile. Just as she still remembered this lullaby, she would never be able to forget how terrifying and painful these arms—which were now embracing her so gently—could be.

Just as it was said, the past cannot be undone. Nor was it forgotten. However, even if she couldn’t have the deep green leaves and soft branches she once had, she felt confident that the seed would sprout, even if only in a form that could survive this barren desert.

It might be a cactus sprouting sharp prickles, or a vine that had shrunk and lowered itself close to the ground, but the important fact was that something could bloom. The possibility that it could bloom, even if it was difficult.

Hmm, hmmm, hmm~~ The sound of the blowing wind mixed with Esther’s lullaby.

The night wind here was freezing. But Esther was not cold. Because the man standing guard behind her was so large that he blocked out all the cold wind. Therefore, the child in her arms would not be cold either, and would not wake from its sweet sleep.

“Rima.”

Esther called the baby’s name softly.

It was the sound of a sprout pushing through.