Chapter 20
Idriheim Academy sent our uniforms. A tailor visited and carefully measured both Sandora and me. He said the adjustments would take only two days, and Mother gladly paid the fee. The rest of our supplies had already been prepared, so there was no need to check them again.
“Iyara.”
“Yes.”
“You don’t look very happy.”
“Just thinking of seeing that guy’s face makes me lose my appetite.”
Sandora asked if perhaps it wouldn’t be better to lose cleanly once, since showing tears or defeat might make him lose interest. At her words, I trembled with outrage.
“Did he do it to you too? Did you cry and beg him for mercy?”
“No.”
Surely, with a rotten character like his, he wouldn’t have singled me out alone. Pressing her to explain in detail, Sandora only gave a sly smile.
“Grandfather. We’re here.”
There had been a summons from Grandfather. Perhaps he wanted to give a word of advice before his granddaughters left for Idriheim in a few days. Closing the book he had been reading, he welcomed us.
“The uniforms have arrived, haven’t they?”
A smile played across Grandfather’s face.
“Yes. Sandora’s too.”
“Good. Sit down first.”
Two identical chairs were set out. I perched on the one to the left. Grandfather pushed his book aside entirely and laced his fingers together.
“Dia.”
“Yes.”
The one he addressed wasn’t me, but Sandora. Grandfather opened his bare palm. Sensing his intent, Sandora laid her fingers lightly atop his.
“Do you resent me?”
“…What?”
Sandora looked at him as if he had said something utterly absurd. I felt the same.
“Or has your heart been hurt?”
Her expression turned lost, as though she were wandering in a maze.
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Either Shi-shi or I… must have made you feel left out.”
At that, I realized what Grandfather was trying to say. He was speaking of everything that had happened since my return. Understanding the direction, Sandora spoke as though her answer had been rehearsed.
“I was never upset. Compared to me, Iyara, who had just come home…”
“Sandora.”
“…Yes.”
“Neither your mother nor I have ever considered you anything but family. That hasn’t changed, even after Iyara came back.”
Glancing up, I saw Sandora gnawing at her neatly trimmed nails.
“Why are you telling me things I already know?”
“Even if it’s something everyone knows, it’s still something that must be said at least once.”
I had thought about Sandora’s position before. The people she believed to be her parents were, in truth, not her parents. She could no longer whine and run into their arms like before, no longer act like a spoiled granddaughter. Sandora had been forced to grow up early. It wasn’t her choice, but something imposed on her.
“I’m grateful that you’ve gotten along well with Iyara. You are different in nature, raised in different ways. And perhaps because of that, you were able to accept each other.”
“Yes.”
“As long as your emotions don’t end up straying in the wrong direction, that is.”
Sandora lowered her head without reply. Her lips, lacking confidence, mumbled faintly.
“What do you mean by the wrong direction?”
“I mean that outsider.”
At the end of Grandfather’s words, I cleared my throat. It had been far too long since I’d heard that word.
“If you’re talking about that kid, didn’t he already leave long ago?”
The memory of Sandora brushing off the question some time ago flickered in my mind. Grandfather, in a calm voice, carried the conversation onward.
“With work after work piling up, we all ended up forgetting that child for a while.”
Sandora, unexpectedly, snapped back with a sharp edge.
“It’s not like he ever did anything harmful, did he?”
“The first time you met, I heard he snuck into your carriage.”
“He only did that to survive. I wasn’t hurt in the least!”
But Grandfather’s face was already set in decision.
Sandora, with a frightened look, hurriedly poured out her words.
“Please, just let him work inside the castle. I’m not asking for anything else. Kyrran doesn’t want to go back outside. He says he’s finally living like a real person, and he’s happy…”
“There are countless people with unfortunate circumstances. Are we to take them all in every time?”
Grandfather’s expression tilted more and more toward refusal. Sandora’s emotions flared.
“Countless, yes—but I know Kyrran’s name now. I remember what he looks like, what his voice sounds like. If you drive him out, what do you think will happen to me?”
Grandfather’s hand clenched, the blue veins on the back standing stark. His lips opened only after a long silence.
“Your mother already knows everything, Dia.”
“Knows what?”
“That the foreign boy slips into your room at night. That you’ve been hiding him in the maids’ quarters.”
I could only blink in disbelief. The thought that an outsider boy had been sneaking in and out of Sandora’s room—so that’s why she hadn’t shown up to sword practice all this time?
“I only taught him letters, nothing more.”
“Dia.”
“And yet you knew all this…”
“Sandora.”
Grandfather once again took Sandora’s hand and held it firmly.
“Slowly, carefully—we tried to resolve this matter. For Iyara. For you as well. We’ve been through so many changes already. I never wanted either of you to be hurt by any of it.”
“Yes.”
“Dia. I know you’ve clung to that boy because you were lonely.”
Loneliness. Obsession. Grandfather knew it all, yet he had turned a blind eye.
“You are a Witterbalde. Until the seas themselves dry up, that truth will never change.”
“I know.”
“End it here. Before it goes any deeper.”
“Grandfather. I don’t love him.”
“Sometimes, Dia, what’s more frightening than love… is growing attached.”
Grandfather released Sandora’s hand and opened a small drawer. Inside lay a letter, sealed with the family crest.
“They say soldiers will soon be recruited in Sephesis.”
“Soldiers?”
“I will write him a letter of recommendation. In that foreigner’s name.”
Grandfather held out what he had already prepared in advance. It was a finely woven net, leaving Sandora with no path of escape.
“Because he eased your loneliness, I will overlook the insolence that stranger has shown until now. But in return—”
“……”
“He must never approach you again, never speak to you again, and he must never set foot in Witterbalde lands.”
Even if one became a soldier in the capital, the prized posts were already claimed by the second and third sons of powerful houses. For those of humbler birth, securing a mere place as a city guard was considered fortunate. And what treatment would a foreigner with no family or house to speak of ever receive?
“As for your engagement, I plan to reconsider it while you continue your studies at the academy.”
Since he had already drawn his sword, Grandfather meant to drive it home.
“Will you accept it?”
Kyrran could no longer set foot in the West. However he was cast out, whatever the direction, if he wanted to salvage even a fragment, he had no choice but to take Grandfather’s hand. Sandora swallowed a low groan and nodded. Even from where I stood, there was no other choice.
“I love you, Dia. I hope you never forget that.”
Grandfather’s kindness was genuine—but only for those within his walls, within the bounds of his circle.
On a day unseasonably warm for winter, we boarded a carriage bound for Sephesis. Another carriage departed with the maid who had packed the bundles and with Kyrran. But the two carriages were headed for different destinations.
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