Chapter 119.1
One common misconception about people with large builds was the assumption that at least they must be healthy. Grace, however, wasn’t particularly healthy.
After being cooped up in the annex for so long, her stamina had deteriorated rapidly. Walking and light exercise had helped somewhat, but after that, overusing her divine power had worsened her condition again.
‘Ah. I know this feeling.’
Feeling dizzy, Grace let out a heated breath.
‘This feels similar to what I went through at the Gate Administration Office…’
At the time, she’d assumed it was just a severe reaction from being in a crowded place. But looking back, she had been around crowds afterward as well—she’d even stood before people.
Each time she felt uneasy and anxious, but never feverish or faint to the point of collapse.
‘So this was a side effect…’
Of course, she hadn’t used divine power back then. But since the aftereffects were identical, she realized it had to be the same phenomenon.
“What’s weighing on your mind so much?”
Benjamin asked as he set a tray with easy-to-eat food and water on the bedside table.
“I was just wondering if something similar had happened before.”
“…Hmm.”
Benjamin hummed quietly, as if thinking something over.
“Recently, it happened at the Gate Administration Office.”
‘Recently.’
It was an unusually blunt slip of the tongue, something Benjamin wouldn’t normally say. He didn’t seem to realize it himself.
‘He remembers.’
And to him as well, the symptoms must have looked the same. If both the one experiencing it and the one caring for them felt the similarity, then it was almost certain.
‘Then did I use divine power at the Gate Office too?’
Divine power was said to be based on feelings of happiness, so how had she activated it back then?
She exhaled unevenly, lost in thought.
‘No—more importantly, how did I use my power at the Gate Office?’
It was the same with the pebbles used as landscaping. At the Gate Office and during the pebble incident, she hadn’t seen light explode or even felt the sense of uplift that usually accompanied using divine power.
“Stop thinking, wife. Your head must hurt, don’t overexert yourself.”
“Oh.”
“I can practically hear the gears turning from here.”
But then, a cool, damp sensation wrapped around her head, cutting off her thoughts.
A water-soaked cloth, wrung dry, had been placed on her forehead. Watching Benjamin tend to her with ease, Grace spoke.
“You seem used to this.”
“I am.”
“Why?”
“…Well.”
Benjamin hesitated again. He always paused to think before speaking. It was a habit Grace had noticed from seeing him in person, one never described in the novel.
‘Though I still don’t know what makes him hesitate.’
Before answering, he asked if he could touch her face. When she nodded, he removed his gloves and gently smoothed her disheveled hair.
“I once did a rather terrible job of nursing someone.”
“Who?”
“Who do you think? In this empire—no, in this world—there’s only one person left who could make me do that.”
“……”
“So I promised myself I wouldn’t let it happen again.”
Benjamin chuckled softly, though a trace of longing and sadness lingered in the sound.
“Normally, it’d be better if there were no ‘next time’… but I’m glad I prepared anyway.”
“You could’ve left it to the servants.”
This was a ducal household, they had physicians. After the examination, it would’ve been fine to leave things to the staff. She wasn’t so young that she’d feel hurt by that.
She also knew Benjamin was busy, and she wasn’t the type to interpret that as indifference.
‘Besides, this isn’t even his role to begin with.’
Grace knew the reason well enough. To Benjamin, she was simply too precious.
Even knowing that, she still found herself asking, leaning into the warmth as if seeking reassurance.
Benjamin smoothed the blanket, then spoke after a pause.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone anymore when you’re sick.”
“…?”
‘Anymore.’
The word felt unfamiliar, out of place coming from Benjamin.
‘Is it because he wasn’t there when he heard I was sick before? Or is it connected to how he dislikes me recalling my memories…?’
He’d told her not to think while she was ill, yet illness only tangled her thoughts further.
Noticing her teal eyes moving restlessly, Benjamin let out a soft breath, smiled faintly, and covered her field of vision with his large hand.
“Ah—”
“You just woke up, but this won’t do. Go back to sleep.”
“I’m not sleepy.”
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