Chapter 127
Serdin muttered expressionlessly, taking one step after another toward her.
“I still don’t. I still don’t regret what happened back then. And I won’t regret it in the future either. Because I wanted you, even if it had to be that way.”
By now, he had stopped right in front of her, looking down at her with a tilted gaze.
“That’s the kind of guy I am, Psyche.”
Still, no emotion could be seen in his eyes.
“I’m trash, unrecyclable trash.”
“…….”
“What kind of trash would show consideration?”
“…….”
“Why are you thanking trash like me?”
“…….”
“There’s no one in this world as messed up as you.”
She looked up at his face without saying a word. Her gaze was confused, yet there was a warmth to it. Sensing that warmth, Serdin’s face began to twist slightly. He clenched his fists tightly, took a deep breath, and exhaled.
“……You know what? Even now, I could help you if I wanted to.”
Psyche knew she shouldn’t give her heart to him. He had already given his heart to her, but that heart was something she couldn’t afford to notice.
Because it could never be. So, he deliberately spat out only harsh words.
“But I’ll just stand by and watch. Whether you get tortured or not, it’s none of my business.”
His voice trembled slightly as he lied. After steadying his breathing, Serdin spoke expressionlessly, each word spat out as if chewed.
“Listen carefully, Psyche.”
“…….”
“In the past, I was the perpetrator. In the present, I’m just a bystander. And in the future, I’ll be a murderer.”
A murderer who will kill everything you ever loved. He muttered the last part, laughing at himself mockingly.
“I might even kill your brother.”
He couldn’t betray Arje. It would be no different from denying his own identity. And she, too, could never betray Mathes. That’s why,
“From beginning to end, I can only ever be trash to you.”
He had decided to bury his feelings for her.
“I chose to be this way, and this choice will never change. As long as I am Arje, and you are Mathes.”
Psyche lowered her gaze. Her heart was in turmoil. She could clearly feel that he was drawn to her, yet she also sensed him trying to suppress those feelings. She wished he wouldn’t…
There was no one here on her side. Not just here, but anywhere. The parents she had trusted the most were no longer in this world, and her brother was worse than useless.
People say the world is meant to be lived alone, but she was human too. It was impossible not to feel lonely. It was impossible not to be exhausted by the pressure of having to face everything alone.
That’s why. That’s why she decided to truly shake Serdin’s heart.
“We can’t be on the same side, but……”
She didn’t even hope for him to stand by her side. She just wanted him to treat her a little more warmly.
She continued slowly.
“I understand you.”
“……What?”
“You don’t want to… hurt me anymore, and you don’t want to see me suffer, but you also can’t betray Arje, right?”
“…….”
“You can’t stop them… or tell them not to do this, either.”
Psyche carefully met his gaze. Looking softly into Serdin’s wavering eyes, she said the words he might have wanted to hear the most right now.
“I understand you.”
“…….”
“If I were you, I would have made the same choice.”
The more she spoke, the more his eyes shook violently.
“I know this is the best you can do right now.”
His expression was twisted beyond control.
“I’m truly… grateful.”
“…….”
She took a slow, deep breath, then drove the final nail in.
“Serdin, no matter what you do in the future, no matter how much you hurt me, this one thing will never change.”
“…….”
“It’s because of you that I’ve been able to endure this place at all.”
A faint smile hung on her lips.
“And I think… I’ll be able to keep enduring because of you.”
At her words, Serdin said nothing. He just stood there for a long time, his face expressionless, until he could no longer hold back and clenched his fists before walking out. She listened carefully to see if any sounds came from outside, but there was nothing.
Something reached her ears around the time she finished her meal.
“Your expression is quite… something.”
The motion of rinsing her mouth stopped abruptly. Psyche spat out the water and focused her attention in the direction of the voice.
“What, are you going crazy? Because nothing’s going your way?”
“Get lost. I’m not in the mood to deal with you.”
Just hearing that much was enough to understand the situation. Helios was picking a fight with Serdin.
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