Chapter 63
Roel was startled to see him. Her mind was so overwhelmed that she half-believed she was seeing a hallucination. As she stood frozen, unable to speak, Kyden approached the desk with heavy steps.
Standing close, he stared intensely, as if someone had stopped his breath. He was unable to move a finger, scanning Roel from head to toe.
She appeared unharmed, her expression was fine, she was standing firmly on two legs, her eyes open wide, and she was breathing normally.
Roel was safe.
Finally, Kyden let out a deep sigh. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration, and with a flushed face, he managed to speak.
“A room…”
Still shocked, Roel numbly handed over the key to a room. Snatching the key, Kyden gave Roel a brief, intense look before marching up the inn’s stairs irritably.
Roel couldn’t take her eyes off his disappearing figure. Her mouth slightly fell open.
What brings you here? Did you come to see me? That can’t be right. But you look troubled. What happened?
Questions swirled in her heart.
‘It’s Kyden. It’s really him.’
Thump, thump, thump.
Her heart pounded as if it would burst from her chest, her breathing heavy, her face flushed with heat.
She had thought she’d never see him again. She had thought she’d only yearn for him in her dreams. But like magic, there he was right before her eyes.
At first, she couldn’t believe it, then she wondered why he had come all this way, and now, all those questions seemed trivial.
‘It’s wonderful. It’s just too good to be true.’
She felt as if she was floating on air, overwhelmed with joy. The fact that she had met him again brought tears to her eyes.
Roel clenched her trembling hands. She didn’t know why Kyden had come to the capital, but…
‘I never thought I’d see him again. It feels like a miracle… Am I dreaming?’
She was grateful for the miraculous event that not only had Kyden appear in the capital but also ended up staying at the inn where she worked.
But Roel knew she couldn’t reveal her presumptuous feelings. They had to remain hidden, known to no one else.
She remembered clearly what she had done—murdering Howson, fleeing from Roniti, concealing her guilt from him, lying, and ultimately leaving him wounded.
Every night, she relived those ugly actions with regret, self-reproach, and agony.
She felt guilty towards Kyden. He had offered her his cabin, shared his warmth, and taught her about love.
Despite knowing her faults, he had never let go of her hand, even suggesting they leave together.
It was Roel who had abandoned him.
She couldn’t bear to see Kyden give up everything for her alone. She felt unworthy. She believed leaving was the right thing to do for his happiness.
But it was only after leaving him that she realized the shallow pride that had influenced her decision.
She doubted she could make him happy. She felt meager and deficient inside, likely to become dependent on him. She would possibly even burdening him with her own pains.
Eventually, Kyden would recognize her lackluster inner self. Once he realized she wasn’t worth the sacrifice, he would regret the things he had given up for her.
She couldn’t bear to witness his regret and pain. She hoped he would remember only the beautiful moments when his feelings matured. She wanted him to remember her fondly in a purely selfish wish.
So, instinctively, Roel knew the inevitable course that awaited her. So she fled.
Thus, she didn’t feel entitled to be happy to see Kyden.
‘…But still, seeing him again makes me so happy.’
Turning away, Roel wiped her tears and bit her lip.
She rechecked the desk’s key box and confirmed the room number she had given to Kyden.
‘Room 207…’
It was a double room. She was overwhelmed that she hadn’t asked if he was staying alone, how long he’d be staying, or even discussed the daily rate. She also forgot to mention that for an additional five coppers per day, breakfast and dinner were included.
‘I hope he stays for a long time.’
Roel fiddled with the spare key for room 207, lost in thought.
She could use the basic information as an excuse and go up to Kyden’s room to speak with him right then. However, the mere thought of knocking on his door made her heart race so much that her head felt dizzy.
‘Not, not now, maybe a little later…’
Deciding not to simply talk but also to take care of his room and meal charges herself, Roel calmed her wildly beating heart. The fact that he was so close brought a mix of happiness, joy, excitement, confusion, dizziness, and almost tears.
While she was lost in thoughts of Kyden, Hawk, who had been preparing dinner in the kitchen, called out to Roel.
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