Welcome to the Demon’s Cabin - Chapter 52

The cold gray stone floor and ceiling were nowhere to be seen. Into his dark vision, a wooden ceiling and a large magic lamp situated in the center of it were visible.

“……A dream?”

Idris muttered in a dazed voice.

It even seemed to be dawn. Raising his body to sit, he laughed with a bewildered face.

‘Now I am dreaming all sorts of dreams.’

Asilla. It was a name he was recalling after a long time. His devout younger sister of the same age, who was once a maid of the Marquis’s family, and was now the adopted daughter of the Marquis’s family as well as Serent, the proxy of God.

‘That matter has already been more than ten years ago, probably.’

Nonetheless, it was as vivid as if it had occurred yesterday. It could not be helped. Because it was the first moment someone had extended a hand to him. Someone taking care of him, saying good things to him, treating him as a young master, and smiling brightly at him were all a first.

And the exceedingly kind Asilla willingly extended her hand to him always after that as well. In that way, that child became his world, his sister, and his only friend.

‘At that time, I truly believed firmly that that hand was a complete salvation.’

If it had been a beautiful conclusion where he became influenced by her like that, resolved to become a devout holy knight, and achieved his dream…… it would have been very nice, but he could not be satisfied.

‘In this way, affection deficiency is terrifying. It makes me repeatedly harbor strange greed.’

He had always wished for a hand that was extended solely toward him. Even if it was just once, he wanted to be someone’s special person.

I would not mind dying if I could just receive the complete love of one person.

There was no way he, who lived while having such thoughts, could have been satisfied solely with the love of God, who loves everyone, and the love of that God’s daughter.

‘Whether it is a heinous criminal or a good person, an acquaintance or a stranger, if it is a love given equally to anyone, what meaning would that have?’

Rather than a person’s love, that is a beautiful benevolence. And to him, that fact was despair.

In the end, it amounted to realizing that there was no one who looked at the person that was him.

However, his current state was one where he understood his place. That becoming someone’s number one priority was impossible. Through a compromise with reality, he chopped up his wish finely and divided it.

A friend to share his heart and laugh with, a person who looks at him and smiles in welcome, a gift exclusively for him, freedom from the tedious Imperial family…….

Aside from those, his wishes stretched out quite long.

‘Life is truly unpredictable. To think I have fulfilled several of these wishes in the Black Mountains.’

Of course, there was the catch that his life was the collateral.

He quietly looked at the pitch-black outerwear of soft material hanging on the wall. On that thin sleeve, his fake name was embroidered with pure white thread.

Idris.

He murmured that name, which had now become too familiar, inside himself.

Clothes made and embroidered exclusively for him.

Despite saying he had always wished for it, once it was thrust right before his eyes, it was so burdensome that it was overwhelming, so comically, he briefly thought that he wanted to reject it.

Recalling that moment, the face of the very person who had embroidered the embroidery and made the clothes arose clearly in Idris’s mind.

The eyes that shone while pretending otherwise, wishing for praise and gratitude when handing over the coat, were still vivid before his eyes.

Because he became uncharacteristically excited upon seeing those eyes, he had even forgotten about diligently matching her whims and played a prank according to his original personality. The part of his brain that had melted from excitement back then might perhaps never be recovered permanently.

‘Sigh…… I knew it, but my life is also anew truly answerless. To be moved by being treated like a dog that is roughly locked up and doted on.’

Yes. From Irene’s standpoint, in the end, he would merely be one interesting human passing by.

Even while knowing it was an incorrect reaction, his mood sank in an instant.

‘Just how far am I going to commit sins…… No, if it is around this degree, it is within the allowable range anyway, so does it matter?’

She seems like a person, her words are truly good to hear, I might grow attached. Because they were merely such light impressions that did not even seem sincere, it was fine. Since he was someone who was always weak, this kind of emotion was rather a natural thing.

It did not matter as long as he did not lose himself and sincerely crave affection.

Well, such a thing could not happen as long as he maintains his sanity.

‘Going back to sleep is a lost cause.’

He became uselessly perturbed. Since it turned out like this, it was also unseemly to just sit down and idly watch the time pass.

‘……Shall I go out to get some fresh air?’

It did not seem like Irene would say anything over him going out for a short while, and if a dangerous matter occurs, she will come to save him on her own if he at least screams.

Having decided impulsively, unlike his usual self, he picked up the outerwear hanging on the wall and threw it on. Contrary to Irene’s worry, the clothes were slightly loose even on him.

Idris walked with large strides toward the room door without any further contemplation. Upon the table he passed by, the cufflinks, which he had worn for only a brief moment because they were somehow a waste, were shining.