We’re Married, After All - Chapter 121

Danel’s lips remained tightly sealed and unmoving for a long while after that. He was silent for a very long time, as if pondering something, then slowly opened his mouth.

“Perhaps… you might be right, Laurea.”

His low voice resonated like a ship’s bell.

In the meantime, the scent of flowers that had clung to us had mostly faded. Its place was taken by the scent of the chapel.

The smell of the old wooden pews and the soot from the candles. The faint fragrance from the flowers decorating various places.

In the tangled silence, Danel slowly drew a breath.

Danel’s expression was serene. A blue light from the stained glass settled upon his neat features.

“Coming here made me remember all the thoughts I had throughout the time I spent here. So… yes, I am uncomfortable.”

“Don’t people usually call those memories?”

“Because I mostly only had thoughts a priest shouldn’t have.”

“…Ah.”

Only then did I begin to understand why Danel had been so reluctant to come to the cathedral.

The time when monks from the monastery come to the cathedral is after they have spent several years as deacons, right before they receive priestly ordination. It’s a time for training before becoming a full priest, in a place where they can meet the most congregants.

In other words, when Danel was here, he was no longer a boy. It was obvious what kind of thoughts Danel, who had become a young man, had about me.

“…..”

I couldn’t say anything more after that. I just held his hands tightly and quietly caught my breath.

As if pleased with my reaction, Danel’s expression completely softened.

“I thought you were uncomfortable because of leaving the clergy.”

“Truthfully, there’s no particular reason to feel uncomfortable now. I was like this even before I left the monastery.”

“You mean you felt awkward in places like this even when you were in the monastery?”

“I never particularly felt awkward… but I think God would not welcome my presence here. I haven’t offered a single prayer since the day I sent my reply to Festos.”

Danel answered calmly.

“I never even asked for forgiveness.”

His attitude as he said this was much lighter than before. Considering what happened afterward, it was a rather impious reaction.

I recalled something Danel had said once. That he would fall into hell, so he would no longer offer prayers.

Danel’s gaze turned to the far end of the long pew. His dry, monotonous stare fixed upon the offerings left by the believers.

…brushed past the altar decorated with flowers and candles. As if looking at something that no longer held any meaning for him.

Then, suddenly, he asked me.

“Was today your first time coming to a cathedral separately, Laurea?”

Unlike his emotionless gaze, Danel’s voice whispering to me was affectionate.

“Yes, how did you know?”

“Because you seemed like it was your first time entering the main hall for a reason other than a service.”

As he said that, Danel looked at me. A warm gentleness had returned to his purple eyes.

“Actually, aside from attending someone’s wedding, this is my first time.”

“So you never had a reason to visit a chapel before.”

“Right. Even if I had visited a chapel before, if it were a cathedral this large, I would have naturally wanted to look around.”

At my words, Danel let out a small laugh.

Soon, he offered me his hand and asked.

“Shall we go see the rest of the inside?”

“Will you show me the places where you used to be?”

The man, who had spent several years in the capital’s Grand Cathedral to receive his priestly ordination, smiled a smile so sweet it was hard to believe he had ever been a monk.

“Yes, gladly, if that is your wish.”

We ended our rest and rose from our seats.

Danel and I looked around various parts of the cathedral. From the three massive doors that looked like they could fit ten people each, to explanations of the sculptures placed here and there. Danel explained everything about this building to me in a soft, meticulous voice.

‘No wonder his tone sounds similar to when he’s teaching Ireneo something.’

I listened to his words while entertaining trivial thoughts.

Around the time we had circled about half of the cathedral, a unique sight caught my eye.

A group of young men were sitting on the opposite side of the altar. They were seated on a flat area that required climbing a few steps, and they were all wearing the same clothes.

Black garments made of simple, coarse fabric. They were monastic robes.

I took a few more steps towards where they were. Only then did the apse beyond the altar come into view.

Light was pouring through three windows set along the semicircular space. It was a warm yet overwhelming light, completely different from the fiercely burning candles on the altar.

Below it, several young men with boyish faces were kneeling, absorbed in prayer. The prayers they murmured softly struck the dome ceiling and echoed like a resonance.