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Chapter 148

  1. Home
  2. What Became of the Tyrant After the Pregnant Empress Left
  3. Chapter 148
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“I’m joking. I’m yours, so I have no intention of recklessly risking myself. Besides, I need to stay in one piece to protect you and Mikael, don’t I?”

“……”

“As long as you’re alive, I have no intention of walking into obvious danger. Unless, of course, you’re the one trying to kill me—then that’s a different story. But otherwise, I’ll do my best to live. For us.”

Ysaris was lost in the overwhelming sincerity of the man’s words. Whenever Kazhan struck her heart like this, she found herself unable to respond, repeatedly turning away instead.

But how long could she keep this up? How long should she keep this up?

Her hand, which had been fluttering in the air, cautiously wrapped around Kazhan’s back. For the man who loved her, even if she couldn’t remember, she whispered tenderly.

“Alright, Cain. Let’s live well together. We have to live safely and happily for a long, long time, especially since we have a child now.”

Kazhan was so intoxicated by her voice that he couldn’t respond for a moment. These moments of emotional exchange with Ysaris were so precious to him that he had to etch them into his mind and heart, revisiting them over and over before he could continue.

“Let’s do that, Ysaa.”

‘Let’s live happily, without pain, for a long, long time. Until the end of the lifespan given to us.’

‘Until Mikael grows up and inherits the throne, until our hair turns white, until we can no longer move—let’s share our love and fall asleep together on the same day, at the same time. So that neither of us is left behind to endure painful years alone.’

‘Will I be able to see you after death? If so, I’d gladly give everything to follow you. If not, then I’d rather there be nothing after death. Without you, I am nothing.’

“I love you.”

Kazhan compressed his entire heart into a single word. He knew it might burden Ysaris now, but it was a feeling he couldn’t hold back.

“More than you can imagine, I’ve loved you. I still love you.”

It was a feeling Ysaris had taught him. The memory of how he, who used to frown and avoid the word “love,” had once tearfully confessed his feelings to her was still vivid.

Even if those memories were now his alone to cherish, the fact that Ysaris was the owner of his heart remained unchanged. Kazhan leaned his cheek against her head and continued slowly.

“I’m not asking you to respond to my feelings right away. I know you haven’t fully opened your heart to me yet. I just want you to remember and know this—how much I love you.”

It was a confession, free of schemes or ulterior motives. Though twisted at times, Kazhan had ultimately run this far because he loved Ysaris. He tightened his arms around her one last time before loosening his grip.

He was about to pull away, thinking she might be uncomfortable, but Ysaris, who still hadn’t let go, spoke up.

“You’re right. I don’t love you yet, nor do I fully trust you.”

“……”

Ysaris knew her words had hurt Kazhan. But she couldn’t respond to his sincerity with lies, so she calmly explained her position.

“It’s been too short a time for me to love someone. And maybe it’s taking even longer because you keep confusing me.”

She hadn’t missed the hints that occasionally surfaced. It hadn’t been long since she realized that she and Kazhan weren’t just a blissfully happy couple. She also knew that, despite not particularly liking children, he cared for Mikael because of her.

She had simply been cautious, deliberately turning a blind eye.

“But, Cain.”

Though her husband was suspicious in many ways, one thing was certain. No matter how much she tried not to believe it, there was no denying the emotions he expressed through his gaze, his actions, and his entire being.

Kazhan Tennilath loved Ysaris. Enough to die for her.

That was why she kept wavering, despite drawing a clear line.

“If I hadn’t felt any affection for you, I wouldn’t have allowed you to touch me. I would have ignored your feelings until the very end instead of confronting them head-on like this. But as promised, I’m trying to love you…”

Ysaris, who had let go of Kazhan, looked up at his dazed face. She couldn’t decipher the jumble of emotions in his crimson eyes fixed on her, so she chose her words based solely on her own stance.

“……Just wait a little longer. Who knows? Maybe someday, I’ll truly come to love you.”

Thump, thump. The sound of their hearts resonated through their hurriedly overlapping lips. They had grown that close.

Without knowing how it would end.

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    Tags:
    Amnesia, Aristocracy, Arranged Marriage, Enemies to Lovers, European Ambience, First Love, Misunderstandings, Multiple POV, Obsessive Love, Past Trauma, R15, Regretful ML

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