What Became of the Tyrant After the Pregnant Empress Left - Chapter 163

Ysaris was at a loss for words. She had been angry at Kazhan for seemingly ignoring her out of nowhere, but hearing his explanation made her realize that acting as usual in this situation would have been even more awkward.

Hadn’t she spent days agonizing over how to act around Kazhan during their first meal together? In the end, she hadn’t come to a clear conclusion and had met him with a conflicted heart.

When she didn’t respond immediately, Kazhan, who had been waiting quietly, spoke again.

“I thought you’d dislike it if I spoke to you. Or that you’d cut me off. So I focused on Mikael instead. If that upset you, I apologize.”

“…….”

Ysaris remained silent at Kazhan’s words. It was true that she had vaguely thought about cutting him off subtly if he tried to talk to her. She had planned to push him away naturally, in a way Mikael wouldn’t notice but Kazhan would clearly understand.

But the fact that Kazhan hadn’t even attempted to talk to her left her feeling disoriented. It was uncomfortable to feel like her husband and son were having their own time together while leaving her alone in the same space.

So, she was…….

“Or did you still want me to talk to you, but only so you could push me away? So that you could…….”

“Stop.”

Ysaris cut Kazhan off, feeling as though her deepest thoughts had been exposed. Though no further words were spoken, both of them knew what had been left unsaid.

‘So that you could ease your guilt over Bariteon Kelloden.’

Ysaris hadn’t consciously thought or acted that way. But when looking at the result, it wasn’t far from what Kazhan had said, and a sense of shame welled up within her.

Even if it was just one of many unconscious thoughts, hearing her own inner feelings from someone else’s mouth felt unbearably childish. It felt no different from forcing Kazhan to endure unfair wounds just to ease her own conscience.

As Ysaris bit her lip, Kazhan, who had been quietly observing her, stood up. Leaning forward, he braced one hand on the desk and used his thumb to gently push her bitten lower lip free.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I just wanted to confirm what you wanted. Because I want to give you what you desire.”

“…….”

“If you’re okay with it, let’s talk properly from now on. Even if it looks like you’re pushing me away, as long as you don’t truly hate it, I’m prepared to be rejected. I’ll wait for the day your heart softens enough to accept me again.”

In the end, he was saying that he had stepped back to avoid being hated if he acted as if nothing was wrong. Yet, he was also proposing to throw himself into situations where rejection was almost certain, if that’s what she wanted.

“……Even after this conversation, I can’t force you to speak to me.”

Telling him to push through and get hurt while she pushed him away was an absurdly selfish demand. But at the same time, she couldn’t continue not exchanging a single word with him when they were together with Mikael, so Ysaris felt a headache coming on.

“Or you could choose to engage in conversation.”

“You want me to act as usual even after knowing you killed Bariteon?”

“At the very least, we can pretend to be harmonious in front of our son.”

Ysaris thought of Mikael and was about to bite her lip again when Kazhan’s thumb stopped her. She took a step back, distancing herself from him, and his hand slowly returned to his side.

“Using Mikael is underhanded.”

“That’s taking it too far. I’m just trying to be a good father.”

“Do you really even like children?”

Kazhan flinched.

Ysaris opened her mouth to take back her hasty words, but her desire to confirm the truth stopped her. She couldn’t pretend the words hadn’t been spoken.

As she silently watched Kazhan, his red eyes met hers calmly. His expression was unreadable, as if he were deep in thought, before he straightened his posture and answered slowly.

“If you’re asking which it is, I don’t particularly like children. As you’ve noticed.”

Babies are too small, fragile, noisy, and easily lost. The one-year-old sibling he had lost 25 years ago was the last child he had been close to, so it was only natural that he had forgotten how to care for them and had no reason to take an interest.