Chapter 230
“How unfortunate. That only makes me despise you more.”
The hope had been futile. Kazhan realized this with crushing clarity.
“You still refuse to consider my position. In the end, it’s this very attitude that drives me away.”
Before him stood Ysaris—holding all her memories of loving him, yet speaking of farewell.
“How can you?”
The words slipped out unbidden, raw with incomprehension.
“I understand your hatred. The wounds I inflicted warrant it. Loathe me all you wish. If you desire, I’ll die by your hand.”
“Who would want—”
“But, Ysaris.”
This time, Kazhan cut her off. His voice, thick with suppressed emotion, resonated in the hollow space between them.
“You loved me.”
‘Just as I love you. You swore you’d never let go. Promised to love me when no one else would.’
‘So how can you walk away now?’
‘When I thought you’d betrayed and forgotten me, I still couldn’t release you. Couldn’t leave, couldn’t kill, couldn’t set you free. I clung to our love like a drowning man—half-dead, half-alive.’
‘How can you speak of leaving so easily?’
“A simple question to answer.”
Unlike Kazhan’s turmoil, Ysaris’s reply came without hesitation. The truth, proven since the Blood Covenant shattered, hung cruelly in the air.
“Because I no longer love you.”
Thud.
Kazhan heard the sound of his heart hitting the abyss.
‘Why?’
The question echoed emptily in his mind.
Not why Ysaris pushed him away—he understood that. Hadn’t he too tasted the venom of betrayal?
No, this wasn’t about why Ysaris Tennilath didn’t love Kazhan Tennilath.
This was the devastation that Ysaris Chernian, who’d loved Cain Jenut, had forsaken that love.
“…No matter how much I hated you.”
‘No matter the rage, the moments I yearned to kill you—’
“I never stopped loving you.”
His voice cracked on the last syllable.
Ysaris was wrong. Kazhan had considered her position.
It was just that he—
Even if she stabbed every ally he had. Burned his lands. Abused him. Isolated him. Crushed him underfoot. Lied to him.
No matter what she did, he’d have loved her still.
The idea of him leaving her was unthinkable—even in nightmares.
“Abandon that love too. Enough is enough.”
Kazhan’s throat closed. He gasped like a fish flung ashore.
“…You loved me.”
The words he finally choked out were the same as before.
Like a broken wind-up doll.
Ysaris sighed at the shattered man before her.
“We shouldn’t have.”
“What— No, don’t say it—”
Panic flared as he tried to stop her, but she continued.
“We were never meant to be. Our bond was a mistake from the start.”
“Ysaris—”
“A fallen noble? A discarded Tennilath and a Chernian ‘savage’? Perhaps Duke Barilio was right—we should never have joined.”
“That’s not— He only—!”
“Cain Jenut.”
A flinch.
His old full name, unused for years. Kazhan froze, trembling eyes locking onto hers.
Thud. Thud. His pulse roared. The world slowed, sounds stretching, vision warping.
He knew this sensation. Felt it when they’d plunged from the cliff together.
Which meant this was—
“I regret ever loving you.”
—death.
Swifter than any blade. Too fast for last words.
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