Chapter 238
“My body and heart scream that I love Ysaris. But without the actions to match—I can’t call this love.”
If anything, it was for the best. He was a crown prince branded a traitor by the Uzephian Empire, a fallen noble in the Pyrein Kingdom. Even if Ysaris faced oppression as royalty, someone like Kazhan had no right to reach for the sole princess.
He couldn’t go further. Shouldn’t.
But then—
“Cain, what will you do after graduation?”
“I haven’t decided.”
“It’s in two months.”
“Yes.”
“Hmm… Whatever you choose—just don’t go far from the capital, okay? I’d miss you. I want to see you often.”
It was always Ysaris.
“Cain, is your graduation robe ready?”
“I wasn’t attending the ceremony. Just receiving the certificate privately.”
“Gods, good thing I asked! I’ll prepare your robes—you are going. No excuses!”
Her relentless care left no room for distance.
“If only you’d enrolled a year later, we could’ve graduated together.”
Beneath the joke—nervous affection.
“Promise we’ll stay friends after graduation. You’ll write to me?”
That unguarded ache in her voice shattered his resolve.
He couldn’t let her go.
“I’ll stay by your side forever, Ysaa.”
So he became her knight. Foolishly thinking it would be enough.
The delusion didn’t last.
At first, it was fine. Better than fine. He relished the right to shadow her daily.
But as Ysaris bloomed into devastating beauty, trouble followed. Though the royal family, under her vehement protests, rejected proposals, gifts and marriage offers piled up.
At every banquet, hungry eyes tracked her. Politicians schemed to claim her.
And Kazhan—powerless to stop any of it. No title, no influence, no public claim to her.
The old fury returned. This time, directed not just at her suitors, but himself.
He couldn’t have her.
The injustice choked him. Pathetic, how he fantasized about war—some heroic feat to revive his house. But peace offered no such out.
Adrift, he drowned himself in training. His mentor Rekinen had praised his talent. Maybe if he became Royal Guard Captain, he could propose without disgrace.
But time wasn’t on his side. Ysaris would marry another before he gained footing.
Eventually, Ysaris noticed his worsening temper and ordered him to leave.
“Return early, and I’ll punish you myself.”
She’d threatened.
Those days without her—
He didn’t sleep.
“Damn it.”
He jerked upright, eyes bloodshot. The thought of her meeting some noble in his absence gnawed at him.
Too many saw the princess as prey. Her other guards were useless. Without him, vultures would swarm.
“Two more days…”
No matter how he distracted himself—meals, books, sparring, walks—his mind filled with her. Platinum hair. That smile.
Ysaris didn’t need him as a guard.
He needed her to breathe.
This fever had no cure. Even without action—this had to be love.
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