What Became of the Tyrant After the Pregnant Empress Left - Chapter 287

She had deliberately blocked these thoughts until now. If she started considering what would happen after Kazhan woke, her resolve to save him might waver—so she’d focused solely on the goal.

To her, that was the right choice. Letting personal feelings prevent her from repaying a debt didn’t suit Ysaris’s nature.

But as time passed with no progress, her energy waned. She began searching for justification—why keep trying?

“There’s so much I want to ask you.”

Her whisper hung in the air. Staring at the motionless man, she continued softly,

“Or perhaps… I just have so much to say. I want a real conversation with you. We’ve been missing each other for so long.”

There had always been a gap between them. Many tragedies could’ve been avoided if they’d communicated without misunderstandings or buried emotions.

Yet it wasn’t just lack of communication—circumstances had been cruelly twisted ever since Duke Varilio entangled himself in their lives.

“So I don’t know what will happen after you wake up. It’ll depend on what we say to each other, what conclusions we reach… including where I go from here.”

Her feelings for Kazhan remained tangled. She could no longer outright hate him, but she didn’t love him as she once had either.

‘Was this what they called love-hate?’

He was dear yet infuriating, pitiable yet resentful. Pushing him away made her waver; pulling him closer made trauma flare.

“I’m afraid. If you really wake up—what will I face? What should I do? It’s all so difficult. I ran because living with you meant living in this chaos.”

If Ysaris acted purely for herself, stopping here would be wiser. Kazhan had prepared for this long slumber—even if he never woke, she and the children would be safe.

The same applied to Uzephia. Tennilath’s power had passed to Casillia, and Ysaris could govern using the Emperor’s sealed decrees until the children came of age.

Functionally, Kazhan’s death would change little.

“…But Kazhan. I truly want you to wake.”

So her efforts now were purely her own choice.

“Not just because I owe you Casillia’s life… but because I want you to live.”

The reasons were countless. He didn’t deserve this death. She and Casillia would carry guilt forever. An emperor ruling was better than a regent. And—

“…You’re still someone precious to me.”

Her voice cracked, thick with unshed tears. Unable to look at him, she bowed her head, covering her eyes.

“I still resent you. Remembering what you did makes me tremble… but it’s been too long. The time I loved you, missed you—it’s all too long.”

She’d met him at sixteen. He left Pyrein when she was twenty-two.

At twenty-six, she married him while mourning Cain Jenut’s “death,” only learning the truth at twenty-nine. Half her life had been spent loving Cain, grieving his absence.

Hadn’t she even raised Mikael believing he was Cain’s son? The irony that it turned out true was bitter.

“Are you listening? In the end, I could only ever love Cain.”

That’s why she left. Loving the man who’d abused and deceived her was unbearable—so she chose to stay away, clinging to resentment for Kazhan and longing for Cain.