When That Door Opens - Chapter 58

This chapter contains mentions of self-harm. Please take this into consideration before reading.

I walked along that path with the maids, laughing. Seeing me cheerful after so long made everyone happy.

“It’s nice to go out after so long, but it’s a bit tiring. I think I shall return to my room.”

I returned to my room with the help of the maids. As I entered the room, the guards who had followed me stood at attention outside the door. I paused and spoke to them.

“Will you be guarding my door tonight as well?”

“Yes, Lady Astel.”

I looked at them sympathetically.

“We’ve come to such a lovely place, but you’re not able to enjoy it because of me. I’m sorry.”

“It’s no trouble for us.”

“But my heart is not at ease. I’ll be resting, so why don’t you visit the hot springs for a bit?”

“No, Lady Astel.”

A small argument ensued between me and the guards, me insisting they enjoy the hot springs, and the guards, who insisted they were fine.

When I refused to back down, the guards looked awkwardly at the maids supporting me. The maids exchanged glances and then spoke to the guards.

“Please listen to Lady Astel. She’s so kind-hearted that she hates seeing us go through any trouble.”

“That’s right. You might as well go quickly. Lady Astel needs her rest too. You could have gone and come back ten times over in the time you’re arguing.”

Under the maids’ scolding, the guards eventually headed to the hot springs.

“You all should rest now, too.”

“But—”

“Having you here makes me uncomfortable. Go and rest. You need to be up early to keep me company tomorrow, don’t you?”

“Oh, Lady Astel.”

The maids giggled. I smiled and joked with them.

“Go on. I’m not a child who needs a lullaby to fall asleep.”

“Then we’ll take our leave.”

“Rest well, Lady Astel.”

They smiled and bid me goodnight.

That was the last time the maids saw me.

* * *

A few days later, all of Schultz was in an uproar.

Lady Astel had thrown herself into the hot spring lake, ending her life.

It happened while the guards and maids were briefly away from their posts.

A short note expressed an inability to shake off the guilt toward Duke Roman, urging Schultz never to forgive her for abandoning them. Even after an extensive search, Lady Astel’s body was never found, as if even the gods had forsaken her.

* * *

“So, that happened,”

I remarked nonchalantly, staring at the water flowing beyond the deck. Alex, a sailor from Schultz, responded incredulously.

“That happened? You call it just that?”

“What else can we do? It’s been six months already.”

“But the revered Lady Astel of Schultz died! The God’s representative took her own life!”

“I know, I know. I just can’t feel anything about it. I’m not from Schultz, and we’re three thousand Carbenas away. Why should I care?”

“These young folks today have no empathy. Have you even thought about how the people of Schultz feel, losing Lady Astel so suddenly?”

“Yes, yes, I have. It must be very sad. Satisfied?”

I waved my hand dismissively and turned my gaze back to the sea. The sailor clicked his tongue, clearly unimpressed, before glancing at my hand. The scar tissue, a burn that marred my skin from hand to mid-arm, caught his eye. His voice softened as he asked.

“What happened to your hand?”

“I got badly burned playing with a brazier when I was young. Since it happened during childhood, the scar grew as I did.”

“Such a misfortune. At least you’re a man. If you were a woman, living with such scars wouldn’t be easy.”

I only chuckled in response. It has been half a year since I started living as a man. It was awkward at first, but now I appreciated reactions like his—they were proof my disguise was working.

“Alex! We’re almost there! Stop chatting and get over here!”

“Understood!”

Alex, who had been talking about Schultz for a while, hurriedly ran to his colleague’s call.

Passengers who heard the news of the imminent arrival began to gather on the deck one by one.

I looked at the approaching land and picked up my luggage. I pressed down on the area around my heart, which had started to beat a little faster.

“Disembarking! Watch your step on the stairs!”

I slowly went down the creaking stairs. The sensation of stepping on land after two months felt unfamiliar. I looked around and took out the note from my pocket.

It was something Derek had written on the day Roman had invaded the temple long ago.