Chapter 104
Cairn glanced at his pocket watch, clearly pressed for time. He knew he should let her go, but for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of his arm.
“Um, Cairn, I have a question.”
“Go ahead.”
“You told me earlier not just to say I’m okay, but to actually tell you what I want.”
“Yes.”
“There’s something I really want to do—even though I don’t have to. Would it be alright if I did it?”
“Why are you asking me for permission?”
“Well, it’s because we’re family now. We’re married.”
“Lili.”
He held her gently by both shoulders.
“I don’t want to restrict you just because we’re family. Whatever you want to do, just do it.”
“Really?”
“Really, I mean it.”
Fidgeting with her fingers, Lilien finally brought her hands together in a small, careful gesture.
“But… what if something I do ends up causing you trouble?”
Having made up her mind, she voiced her worries, imagining the worst-case scenario.
“Why—are you planning on doing something illegal?”
“No! It’s not that.”
“If it’s not that, then what? Are you curious what it’s like to kiss another man, so you’re going to have an affair?”
“No! That’s not it at all!”
Once you’re married, you’re only supposed to kiss your spouse, right? So… I thought maybe I’d get curious about what it feels like with someone else who isn’t my husband…
Cairn’s problem was that he had too good a memory—Lilien’s mistakes were never forgotten.
Oddly enough, his joking words actually helped ease her worries.
“I guess I did say something like that once, but not anymore! After being with you… well, I just don’t wonder about those things.”
Cairn’s lips curled ever so slightly, but Lilien was too caught up in her own thoughts to notice his subtle satisfaction.
“Anyway, Lili, as long as it’s not something like that, just do whatever you want.”
“…Okay. I will.”
For some reason, she suddenly wanted to kiss him, but she held back and hugged him instead.
“Thank you for telling me that, Cairn.”
She stayed nestled in his arms for a moment before gently pulling away.
“You seem like you’re in a hurry, so you should go now.”
She gave him a gentle push toward the side wing, acting like that lingering, affectionate hug had never happened.
“So, you’ve gotten everything you needed from me, is that it?”
Cairn teased, giving her cheek a playful pinch.
“Yes. Go on, hurry.”
He reluctantly turned away, disappearing into the busy world that awaited him.
Left alone in the wing after Cairn’s departure, there wasn’t much for Lilien to do.
As she stood there, a single tear slipped down her cheek before she could stop it. She quickly wiped her eyes with her sleeve. The tangled worries that had been plaguing her seemed to unwind, leaving only tears of relief.
She tried to act like she was fine, but in truth, she didn’t want to let go. Maybe, just like her father said, she was still not fully grown—at least, judging by how selfish she felt inside.
* * *
Mauver sorted through the post with a perfunctory air. With each passing day, her expectations dwindled further.
After all, the very writer who’d inspired her to join the publishing house—Clarisse—had finally announced her retirement. The endless press speculation about Clarisse’s true identity and the harsh criticisms from her main readership of middle-aged women had probably driven her to give up.
Still, Mauver couldn’t let go of hope, not entirely.
“Please…”
She was well aware of the flaws in Clarisse’s writing, but the emotional resonance more than made up for it. Clarisse had a gift for delicately drawing out repressed feelings from deep within.
She gave voice to the subtle injustices every woman in the Klatt Empire might experience, depicting how small conflicts could wear a woman down—then, ultimately, guiding her to find true love and happiness.
Mauver truly loved those stories.
Perhaps Clarisse didn’t have much experience with physical love, but when it came to the exchange of emotions, she understood it better than anyone. Physical love could be learned, but emotional connection—that was pure talent.
Besides, the former was something Mauver could help with.
“What’s the point, though?”
Mauver muttered, digging through the bottom of the mailbox. She’d already found twenty dusty bills.
She was just about to brush off her dusty hands and submit her resignation letter, when she spotted a sky-blue envelope propped up in the corner. Without much expectation, she picked it up and glanced at the sender’s name.
“Clarisse.”
Discussion
0 CommentsNo comments yet.