Chapter 58
Lilien lowered her eyes, feeling like she really had done something wrong.
“Yeah. A… a mistake…”
It was late spring, with summer just starting to peek through, and the afternoons were growing warm. Yet for some reason, Lilien felt a chill she couldn’t explain.
She had decided she needed to say goodbye to Cairn today. But when she saw the cold, almost dangerous look on his face, she couldn’t bring herself to speak.
Still, if she didn’t say it now, she might never get another chance to see him.
After a long, heavy silence, she forced herself to open her mouth.
“Cairn, there’s something I need to tell you.”
No response came for a while.
“If Father gives his consent, I’m going to sell this house first thing. Then I’ll be leaving Baltan.”
Cairn’s icy gaze and slow, measured breaths were intimidating. His knuckles had turned white from how tightly he gripped his hands, blue veins bulging across them. He tilted his head to the side, as if daring her to go on. Lilien bowed her head even lower.
“I… I want to go to Sevres. So… maybe today will be the last time we ever see each other.”
Human relationships are like living trees—they’re always changing. In spring they bear fruit, and by winter, all that’s left are bare branches. She knew she had to accept that fact.
But on her tree, there were only a handful of precious peaches left; every time one dropped, her heart ached a little more.
Her own emotions were already too much for her to handle. She just didn’t have the energy to worry about Cairn’s feelings either. He was clearly upset, but there was nothing she could do for him.
“Thank you for everything. Really. More than I could ever put into words.”
The truth was, she’d always known—how he’d gone out of his way to help her, even as she hid behind the wall from embarrassment. At some point, she realized the reason people didn’t look down on her anymore was all thanks to him.
But her pride kept her from saying any of that out loud.
Biting down on her lower lip, struggling to swallow her sorrow, Lilien stayed silent as Cairn left the estate without a word.
* * *
News of the de Bermore family’s bankruptcy and the Bercy couple’s divorce spread rapidly throughout Baltan.
Of the two, the Baron’s divorce was the far juicier topic. Officially, the reason was the Baroness’s infertility, but anyone in the know realized that it was really because they were ‘incompatible in the bedroom’.
Among the noblewomen, this had become almost a universally accepted fact.
After all, as they pointed out, unless you’re some mythical figure from an old legend, there’s no way you’re going to have a child without ever sleeping together.
“Miss de Bermore, you really don’t need to worry yourself about all this.”
“Of course not! The Count isn’t the type to falter over something like this. It’ll pass soon, you’ll see.”
A few noble ladies approached Lilien—who was waiting for Christian in the lounge—to offer some formal words of comfort and encouragement, but quickly lost interest in her and started gossiping about the Baron’s divorce instead.
“According to Lady Denisa, the Baroness said it was actually a relief they never had children.”
“Well, if Lady Denisa’s gossiping about it so loudly, infertility can’t possibly be the real reason for the divorce. I know it’s a little improper to say this, but…”
If it’s so improper, why not just keep it to yourself?
Lilien, who was still unaccustomed to the way noblewomen danced around etiquette, didn’t really understand their style of conversation. Even so, she found herself eavesdropping, curious about what they’d say next.
“Honestly, if an infertile couple is getting along, they’re more likely to take lovers and have children out of wedlock than actually get divorced.”
So that’s how it is.
Lilien, whose favorite pastime was imagining ‘what if’ scenarios, started to wonder what she would do in that situation.
What if she and Cairn were married, but she couldn’t have children? Would it be better for her husband to take a mistress rather than get divorced? But wouldn’t that be so unfair to any illegitimate child, being branded from birth?
While her thoughts drifted along, she suddenly realized her whole scenario had a major flaw—her and Cairn, married? What on earth was she thinking…?
“I’ll never understand why older husbands are always so annoyed at night. It’s not like they didn’t have their fun when they were young!”
The only people in the lounge were Lilien and the noblewomen, who were waiting to take the train to a nearby bazaar.
As a result, their conversation only grew more lively. They tried to keep their voices down, but if you listened carefully, you could hear every word.
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