Chapter 6
“That peach pie you made was delicious…”
“I’ll bake it again sometime.”
Just imagining it filled her nose with sweet scents and made her mouth water.
“You know, Cairn, unlike you, I’m good at nothing.”
Her overly perfect best friend stared at her. Frustrated, she stuck out her lips.
“I’m bad at cooking, tried horseback riding because you suggested it, but almost fell off, and last time I bled from all ten fingers while embroidering.”
She blamed herself, fidgeting with her fingers.
“What kind of excuse is that? At least you’re kind.”
“That’s… and I’m not even that kind.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. Every time I tease you, you smack my arm, so you’re not that sweet.”
“Cairn!”
She slapped his arm again, and he smiled, his eyes crinkling.
“Your strength… hmm… Lilien, you write excellent letters.”
Then, as if about to say something difficult, he took a deep breath and whispered,
“And you’re… pretty…”
Compliments on her looks were nothing new and didn’t move Lilien much. The earlier praise struck deeper.
“I write good letters?”
As Cairn closed the distance, their arms touched. The warmth he shared was so warm that it comforted Lilien.
“Remember when we took that literature class together at Baltar Palace? I couldn’t focus and was goofing around with the wooden sword, got scolded by Sir Seluman, and you were praised for your beautiful sentences.”
Cairn tapped her shoulder. The intimate contact made her look straight into his deep eyes, her face full of worry.
“Lilien, you write beautifully. Forget the chatter about you being some wallflower and just trust yourself.”
Cairn’s encouragement made Lilien feel even sadder. She was starting to doubt the writing skill that was her only pride.
“I was skeptical of her earlier works too. Maybe they were written by someone who’s never been in love. There’s no emotional depth.”
“You’re sad even though I’m praising you?”
She tried to accept her clumsiness, lack of eloquence, and poor social skills calmly—they were all part of her.
But the reputation she built under the pen name ‘Clarisse’ was different. She poured her all into her writing, reflecting deeply on love. The ladies’ words wounded her deeply.
Hearing something a hundred times isn’t the same as experiencing it once.
The love stories written by Lilien—who had never truly loved—were all lies.
They were right.
“You’re so lucky. You’re perfect at everything and popular with the young ladies…”
“Lilien, what’s gotten into you? You said you weren’t interested in men.”
“I am. Even now.”
Cairn couldn’t understand her words. He eyed her suspiciously, unsettled by her unusual behavior.
“Then why are you suddenly complaining about popularity?”
“Well…”
If you’re popular, you get to date a lot. Lilien kept that truth to herself.
Her writing had to remain a secret. If it were known that a noble lady wrote romance novels, the backlash would be severe. Count de Bermore might even throw her out of the estate in a rage.
Besides, her latest work [Love Covered in Filth] included rather explicit scenes between a man and woman…
Even if written clumsily.
Wasn’t there anyone around who truly understood such matters?
Lost in thought, Lilien pondered for a long time. Then suddenly…
“Cairn, you’re popular with the young ladies, right?”
Her realization repeated what she’d said before.
“So you must have lots of experience with love! Maybe you can help me!”
Seeing her face brighten, he couldn’t bring himself to say no.
“I’ve had lots of love… uh, well… probably.”
“Have you kissed anyone? You’ve definitely done that, right?”
Cairn’s eyes fixed on Lilien’s red lips as she asked the cheeky question. He swallowed nervously.
Ignoring his gaze, Lilien asked what she really wanted to know.
“So… have you ever… slept with a woman?”
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