Chapter 71
Handling Lilien’s hypersensitive moods, negotiating with Mr. Labuan over the sale of the estate, and discussing matters with the count—all of it fell squarely on Christian’s shoulders.
Lilien was always a little uneasy about such a heavy responsibility being placed on someone who wasn’t a de Bermore by birth.
Looking back, it was clear that Christian had played no small role in the decisions she’d made.
Christian, the Count, Cairn, and even Lilien herself—they were all suffering. All it would take was Lilien’s signature to end it, and since Cairn had always made the right choices, she felt she had no choice but to follow along.
There was nothing Lilien truly stood to lose by marrying Cairn. Even though she couldn’t shake a vague sense of guilt, Cairn had managed to absorb even that by openly showing his own flaws.
“Christian, please—just listen to me for once.”
He replied with a sigh.
“All right. If that’s your wish, let’s hear it.”
“A woman of age can choose to marry without her parents’ permission.”
“…What?”
Lilien recited, almost word for word, the imperial law that Cairn had taught her.
“Of course, up until about ten years ago, a daughter couldn’t marry without the family head’s signature. But it’s not like that anymore. We married according to the law.”
Her voice was barely above a whisper, but her words were shockingly bold.
Tradition said it was right to get the head of the family’s blessing, but with the law having changed, it was just an outdated custom and was no longer binding.
“Lily!”
“This was my decision. Christian, how are you any different from my father? If I want to do something, what’s so wrong with that?”
Her heart pounded at the thought that she was betraying Christian’s expectations. But there was no turning back. What’s done was done.
“Cairn is a good man.”
It was an excuse unlikely to sway Christian, who didn’t like Cairn at all, but Lilien firmly believed her only friend was a truly good person at least to her.
“Still, to marry like this…!”
The truth was, she was scared too. Cairn was a good man, but he was nothing like her. Their preferences, temperaments, social skills—none of it matched.
What if, after they married, he fell for someone else? What if, after spending more time together, he discovered all her faults and even their friendship faded? She knew she wouldn’t be able to handle that.
But there was nothing to be done. This was the choice Lilien had made, so she could only accept it. She’d suffered long enough from things she hadn’t even chosen. At least this time, the pain would be of her own making.
Even if she ended up unhappy, it would be because she chose it.
“Christian, I don’t regret this. This is my decision.”
For the first time, she’d made a choice for herself. She just hoped her first real decision would turn out to be the right one.
“It’s my life.”
Lilien’s voice was filled with a kind of stubborn, unwavering conviction.
“I’ll handle everything myself. It’s mine.”
Not even Christian’s accusatory stare could shake her resolve.
“No one can judge me for this. Not even you, Christian.”
* * *
Lilien visited a café alone. She’d been thinking about the lemon madeleines she’d shared with Christian last time, and since things between them had felt awkward lately, she wanted to buy a few as a peace offering.
It wasn’t unheard of for a noblewoman to visit a café by herself, but it was rare enough that passersby cast curious glances her way. Only then did Lilien realize, scanning the terrace, that she was the only woman sitting alone.
She’d come here to escape Christian’s watchful eye, but even the café felt uncomfortable. Just as she was gathering her things to leave, a familiar face appeared.
“Hello, Lady de Bermore. It’s been a while.”
Momentarily dazed, Lilien stared at Eisen, then hurriedly stood to greet her.
“Hello, Lady Frederick.”
“Shh.”
Eisen pressed a finger to her lips, signaling her to keep quiet. Lilien, unsure of the reason, tilted her head in confusion.
“If you’re not meeting anyone, may I join you?”
“Y-yes, please do.”
With her hair tied back in a low twist, Eisen looked subtly different from usual. She still had that sophisticated air, but somehow she seemed more unadorned today.
“Please, just call me Eisen today. It would be even better if you always did.”
“…Okay, Lady Eisen.”
“Is just ‘Eisen’ too difficult?”
While Lilien stammered, Eisen ordered madeleines and tea. Throughout that long wait, Lilien remained flustered by the whole situation.
Noticing her discomfort, Eisen broke into a bright, easy smile.
“Never mind, then. Just call me Eisen.”
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