Chapter 74
“…What did Father say?”
“He told us to come together. He gave us his blessing.”
“He really agreed that easily? Wait—did you also tell him…?”
“Tell him what?”
“That we’re already basically married?”
“Yeah. I told him everything.”
Lilien felt a bit deflated. She had no idea how Cairn had managed to talk her father around, but if it had been her saying it, she would have gotten a scolding before anything else.
Jealousy flickered inside her, making her pout and bite her lower lip in frustration.
“Why are you always so willfull?”
But it takes two people to have a fight, and Cairn was in such a good mood that he only offered her a dazzling smile. There was no way for a war to break out with one side being so easygoing.
“Well? Aren’t you going to answer me? Why do you always do whatever you please?”
“Lili, you’re always so kind. Just let it slide this once. You know I’m a bit hopeless sometimes.”
She didn’t realize it at the time, but this was only the beginning of Cairn’s willful behavior.
* * *
Lilien had arrived at the hospital before Cairn. She absolutely had to see the doctor today. Really, she should have come before she signed any papers Cairn put in front of her, but it was too late for that.
Sitting on the small wooden stool in the consultation room, Lilien glanced at the elderly doctor and sighed.
“Doctor, will I ever be able to have children?”
There was only one physician in Baltan who specialized in gynecology, and luckily she worked at the same hospital where the Count was staying.
“Everything seems perfectly normal, Miss de Bermore—your uterus and cervix are healthy.”
Officially, Lilien was still de Bermore. Everyone could guess she’d become a Headington, but it wasn’t out in the open yet.
“I get terrible cramps, and my cycles are always irregular…”
“Miss de Bermore, those symptoms are quite common. Please, try not to worry too much.”
“My mother died giving birth to me… could that have anything to do with it?”
Even mentioning her late mother in this way made Lilien feel uneasy.
She’d heard all the rumors people liked to whisper, and though she’d never bothered to explain herself, deep down those words sometimes gnawed at her.
Her mother had died in childbirth—so people assumed Lilien would also have trouble bearing children. She knew how ridiculous it was, but after hearing it for so long, she started to doubt herself.
What if she really can’t have children?
“So… is something like that hereditary?”
There was so much she didn’t know about her own body. When she got her first period, she’d had no one to ask and spent half a day hiding in the bathroom, until Matilda found her and gently explained everything.
She’d read about it in books, but with no mother around, terms like uterus or b*****s felt abstract and unfamiliar, and she always worried that something about her was different.
“No, that’s just a baseless rumor. Pure nonsense.”
“But I am small for my age, and my hands and feet are always cold…”
The doctor, who had been treating her formally, suddenly softened. After a moment’s hesitation, she took Lilien’s hands in her own.
“Miss de Bermore was simply born small. Of course people who don’t know you well might gossip, but it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. Physically, you’re healthy.”
Only then did Lilien finally relax a little after hearing the doctor’s words.
“Try not to stress yourself. Having children is a matter of fate—there’s no need to worry before you even try.”
Still, she was worried if she was the one to end the Headington line,
If it really turned out that she couldn’t have children, would she have to bring in a mistress for Cairn, like all the noblewomen whispered? She supposed that was what people expected—but the thought filled her with dread.
“Thank you, Doctor. Have a good day.”
Feeling much lighter than when she’d entered, Lilien left the consultation room. The doctor watched her go, letting out a heavy sigh.
“My betrothed seems frail—are there any methods of contraception other than the physical kind?”
Just a few days ago, Lilien’s supposed secret husband had come in with a bizarre question.
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