After I Died, My Husband Went Mad - Chapter 179

His true feelings slipped out as he blankly stared at the floor. Just that would be enough. In fact, it was more than enough.

“If only there was even the smallest reason…”

He couldn’t dare hope that she would love him. He had no intention of blocking her path, as she had decided to live a new life as Bella.

All he hoped for was that, after resolving what she called a ‘bad history,’ if she no longer saw him as a horrible ex-husband, then perhaps…

Maybe, from a distance, I could at least see you. Even if you completely discard me and leave no trace, that’s fine. We would become strangers.

I wouldn’t be the husband who despised you and pushed you into suffering anymore. So, even if we awkwardly make eye contact a few times, it should be okay.

She could glance at him, acknowledge him with a small nod, and then continue on her way. If that was the case, at least the day when the entire Hillend Hall would burn alongside him would never come.

Oh, I really hope that’s how it is.

She’s kind enough to give him the chance to apologize, so perhaps she’ll leave a small connection after all. She might leave him a sliver of space, enough to keep him from going mad and dying from his rage, even after losing all ties to her.

“Just that would be enough.”

He felt his chest tighten. Clutching onto a fragile hope, he dunked his head into cold water.

“Ha.”

Dehart raised his face, dripping wet, and glared at his reflection in the mirror. His bloodshot eyes, rough skin, and sunken cheeks were unpleasant to look at. He instinctively tried to bite his lip, but stopped.

If I want to leave even a small connection, I need to make a good impression from now on.

He stared at his reflection with cold, determined eyes and set his jaw.

He thought back to what Sebelia’s preferences were when they were at Hillend Hall. She didn’t particularly enjoy luxury, nor did she have a strong preference for any particular style. But there was one thing he could guess about her taste.

The cross necklace with a blue jewel embedded in it. The one he had prepared for her as a birthday gift. It didn’t suit him at all, but it clearly looked good to her.

She likes things neat and simple… A bit ascetic, perhaps?

Dehart’s golden eyes glimmered with a new sense of determination. As he picked up the towel to dry his face, a resolve was etched on his features.

* * *

“It’s taking a long time.”

The clock’s hands had already reached noon. Sebelia turned her head and glanced at the courtyard before looking away again.

“Could it be because of the servants?”

After sending Dehart off, the noisy first floor gradually became quiet. From what she had overheard, it seemed that the summons had been called because of his schedule that was handed over to Lady Lycia, but she wasn’t sure what had happened.

While he’s avoiding me, it seems like he’s put off his work too, so it can’t be helped.

It seemed unlikely that Dehart would return before dinner. Sebelia didn’t wait around for him, and she was glad she had gone to the post office to send a reply to Denisa.

I should organize what I want to say in advance.

Sebelia took out a blank piece of paper and began writing down the topics she intended to discuss with Dehart. From their first meeting onward, the words she wrote down were her frustrations and the truths she had never told him.

“Hm.”

As she looked down at the list, her eyes glowed with a faint blue light. In reality, unlike Dehart’s assumptions, Sebelia hadn’t intended to completely sever ties with him. She simply wanted to ‘organize’ how the two of them had formed their bad connection.

She had come to accept the memories from Wheddon and her life in Inverness. She realized through repeated clashes with Dehart that the past couldn’t be discarded but had to be accepted and acknowledged.

In that sense, Sebelia’s suggestion to ‘resolve our bad history’ wasn’t about saying ‘let’s stop acknowledging each other,’ but rather ‘let’s talk about the wrong choices we made in the past and why it ended up like this.’

Of course, Dehart wouldn’t know this.

It’s no use if it only hurts him.

She had initially thought that if she could just shake Dehart and make him suffer, her resentment would be eased, but that was a shallow thought. What Sebelia felt when she saw him break down and faint wasn’t pleasure, but emptiness, and deeper sadness.

“We needed to talk from the beginning.”

If they had had the time to listen to each other and understand each other’s positions, things might have turned out differently. Sebelia sighed and set her pen down.

So, for the future, she had to clear away the misunderstandings and the unspoken truths, calmly sorting through the past. Only after fully accepting the past could she finally dream of a new tomorrow.

With a calm heart, Sebelia waited for Dehart, who soon returned at a frantic pace, having finished his work.

“What… what are you wearing?”

“Don’t you like it?”

Dehart, who had stolen the ceremonial robes that the only high priest of the Suffredi family cherished and wore them, looked sulkily at her with furrowed brows.