Chapter 332
I had heard it all hundreds of times, so by now, I just responded calmly.
〈Yeah, Mom. Thanks for raising me.〉
There were usually two ways she would react to that.
After venting her frustration sufficiently, she would either lie down and fall asleep, or, if she still hadn’t calmed down, she would pace around angrily and eventually throw me out of the house to get me out of her sight.
The reason for the latter was always obvious—she needed a man to fill the loneliness that her daughter’s presence couldn’t satisfy. Sometimes she would hand me 20,000 won and send me off nicely, but most of the time, it was just a blunt dismissal.
When I was thrown out of the house without any money, there weren’t many places I could go. So, I would usually sit on the stairs between floors, trying not to be noticed by the man my mom had invited over.
As long as the weather wasn’t too cold or too hot, I could manage to endure it, but even that had its limits. People going up and down the stairs would give me uneasy glances.
Eventually, I would get up and leave. But I still had nowhere to go.
With no money, what was I supposed to do? Where should I go? When should I return?
I had many questions, but I couldn’t find clear answers to any of them.
***
I was fairly good at studying. It wasn’t so much that I was naturally talented, but studying was the only hobby that fit well with my ample free time.
The teachers at school often told me I had a good head on my shoulders, so maybe there was some truth to that.
〈Just get into college. After that, you can take out student loans or tutor, and you’ll find a way.〉
My homeroom teacher would call me in almost every day after I received a pretty good score on the college entrance exam. She was trying to persuade me to aim for the best university possible.
〈If your child can get into a good university, any parent would take out loans to help. Don’t worry about the money—that’s for the adults to handle. You just need to focus on what you want.〉
I knew she meant well, but at that moment, I felt like scoffing. She didn’t know what she was talking about.
Still, I asked my mom, hoping against hope.
〈Mom, I took the college entrance exam, and the teacher said—〉
〈Don’t even think about asking me for money. I don’t even have enough to feed myself.〉
Of course, nothing had changed.
I had prepared my argument, ready to promise that if she could just help with the admission fee, I would handle the rest myself. I’d earn money by tutoring at a good university and even send her some allowance regularly…
But I never even got the chance to say any of it.
Still, I managed to go to college somehow. It wasn’t the university I had initially aimed for, but it wasn’t bad. I received a full scholarship, which meant I didn’t have to worry about tuition.
〈Why are you even going to college? From what I’ve seen, women don’t need college. It’s better to take care of your appearance and learn how to flirt so you can marry a successful man while you’re still young.〉
…Of course, my mom wasn’t too thrilled about that either.
***
I had my first drink at the freshman orientation in college.
The gathering of freshmen who didn’t yet know their limits with alcohol was not as enjoyable as I had expected.
The conversations were all the same boring topics. Someone talking about how they had been good at studying but messed up the entrance exam, landing them in this university. Others speculated on which freshman Sunbae who had a reputation for seducing new students would target this year…
None of it interested me much, so I focused on snacking instead.
Then, someone quietly sat down beside me.
It was that sunbae everyone was talking about—the one known for seducing freshmen.
〈What’s your name? Where are you from?〉
I answered vaguely, and then he suddenly made a suggestion.
〈Everyone seems pretty drunk. Want to go get some ice cream?〉
〈…Me?〉
〈Yeah, you. Who else would I be talking to?〉
He laughed softly, as if my question was ridiculous.
And so, we ended up going to a convenience store together.
That sunbae bought ice cream for everyone at our table and added two cans of beer to the purchase. Before returning to the pub, he suggested we take a moment to get some fresh air.
We sat on a dimly lit bench without streetlights. He handed me a beer, and as I was finishing the can, he leaned in and kissed me. It was my first kiss.
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Erica
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