Campus Log - Chapter 12

“It’s so embarrassing I didn’t go to any classes today. How am I supposed to go tomorrow…”

Just as Ryu Eun-seok couldn’t imagine a life without friends, I also couldn’t relate to why he was so hung up on such rumors.

“Why be embarrassed? They’re just rumors. If someone asks, just say they’re not true.”

“How am I supposed to say they’re not true?”

Ryu Eun-seok, who had been slumped over, abruptly straightened his back.

“Suddenly living in a dorm, eating only cafeteria food every day, quitting personal training sessions, and not being able to go shopping freely with friends anymore—how can I claim those rumors are false?”

As he spoke, it seemed the reality of his own situation was sinking in—the whites of Ryu Eun-seok’s eyes grew red and bloodshot. For him, perhaps the bigger problem wasn’t his family’s financial hardship itself, but the fact that the news had leaked out.

“Then admit it.”

Even as my mind debated whether to pull out a tissue, only cold, rational choices flowed from my mouth.

“If someone looks down on you, call them out for discriminating based on money. Or just quietly cut them off.”

“Is that possible for you?”

I hadn’t even written a single line of my report yet, and Ryu Eun-seok showed no sign of stopping his whining while holding onto me.

“Can you really ignore it and still come to school—the people you were close with, talking behind your back, avoiding eye contact, not reaching out?”

“What good do those people do for your life anyway?”

At the cold retort, Ryu Eun-seok’s mouth half-opened, but no sound came out.

“To be blunt, if your family’s struggling, you should be thinking about building your resume to land a good job. Instead of worrying about people badmouthing you, sit in the front row, study hard, and get on the professors’ good side.”

Wait, why am I giving this guy life advice? Just last week, we weren’t even exchanging greetings. The situation was absurd, but I finished what I started.

“If they look down on you, just look down on them too. Do you really want to stay close with people like that?”

That’s when I noticed the moisture gathering between Ryu Eun-seok’s eyelashes. Sensing the dampness himself, he blinked rapidly.

Damn it, why is this guy always crying? It weakens people’s hearts.

I pulled out a tissue from my bag. I figured I should comfort Ryu Eun-seok quickly and send him on his way so I could get back to my own work.

I yanked out a wad of tissues and handed them over. Ryu Eun-seok took them but didn’t wipe his eyes. Instead, he just fidgeted with the innocent tissues as if kneading them, then pulled his phone out of his pants pocket.

“If you won’t accept the follow request, then let me get your number.”

So he can have my number and use it as he pleases.

From wanting to send DMs to asking for my number, his intent to stay in contact with me felt extremely suspicious. It’s not like we have a group project together. And he’s already realized I didn’t spread any rumors.

After hesitating so long it felt suffocating, Ryu Eun-seok finally parted his lips.

“Teach me how to go to school alone.”

Since I was young, I’ve been asked countless times to teach things. How do you solve this problem? How many days before the exam do you start studying? How do you improve your English scores? The questions people asked me were always of that kind.

Not long ago, Professor Lee Jung-hak even called me in to ask how students these days study for the TOEIC, consulting about his son’s scores.

But asking me to teach how to get through school? You just… get through it.

“School is something you do alone anyway.”

I gave an answer so obvious it needed no explanation. Even as I said it, I thought this conversation was absurd.

“No, not that.”

Ryu Eun-seok grumbled, unable to hide his disappointment.

“Weren’t you ever uncomfortable having no friends? Our department has a lot of group assignments—how do you handle them alone? What about MTs or opening ceremonies? Did you join any clubs?”

The moment I heard his questions, I realized he was trying to understand the life of an outsider.