Campus Log - Chapter 5

I opened my eyes wide and froze. The moisture on my own face had dried up long ago, so the owner of that sniffing sound was someone else.

“F**k, hng…”

Ryu Eun-seok was crying.

Even though he was clenching his lips tight, as if he couldn’t hold back the sobs, choking crying sounds leaked out. Mixed in were occasional sounds of him letting out a deep breath, as if a lump of tears was rising in his chest.

“This is so annoying, seriously…”

I thought he would just whine to someone about his family going through hard times and stop, but Ryu Eun-seok was actually sobbing, even sniffing in his runny nose as he let out his tears.

I had snickered maliciously at the news that even the impressive Ryu Eun-seok was having a hard time in his own way, but looking down on a crying man wasn’t something a human should do. Somehow, I felt like I should push my mockery aside for now and genuinely pity him instead.

I only wriggled my fingers, hoping that Ryu Eun-seok’s tears would subside.

If we had been complete strangers, I could’ve handed him a tissue at least. We were in the same year, but we’d never properly exchanged greetings, so it felt extremely awkward to pretend to be familiar now.

Ryu Eun-seok’s crying stopped around the time two students trying to smoke appeared behind the dormitory. I could sense him gathering his bag as if he were about to slowly stand up.

Until then, I stayed quietly hidden, using the acacia tree as a shield. I just had to get through this moment.

And if I safely returned to the dormitory and completely forgot about what had happened today, that would be enough.

However, Ryu Eun-seok’s footsteps did not head straight toward the dormitory.

He hesitated in place for a moment. And, contrary to my expectations, he walked around the acacia tree.

Ryu Eun-seok discovered me, who had been hiding behind it.

The moment our eyes met in a straight line, I realized that my luck for the day had completely gone to hell.

“…What.”

Ryu Eun-seok seemed unsure how he should get past this situation. Whether he should smile kindly as usual, get angry and question me, or pretend he knew nothing and avoid this place altogether.

Of course, it was the same for me.

In the space where even the faint cigarette smoke had drifted away, only silence hung in the air. I had confidently done the group presentation earlier today, but now I couldn’t even move the end of my words, as if my lips had been zipped shut.

I had to say something before Ryu Eun-seok fueled a misunderstanding. I had to make it clear that I had been sitting here before he came, that I hadn’t eavesdropped with malicious intent, and that I had no intention of spreading what I’d just heard to anyone.

“Why are you…”

While I was turning my head frantically to think, Ryu Eun-seok’s face started to turn red. It was my first time seeing him this flustered, and I, too, was left speechless.

“Don’t tell anyone.”

Though they were words with both the beginning and end cut off, I understood perfectly what he meant. I nodded lightly.

“Yeah.”

Even after getting my promise, Ryu Eun-seok couldn’t bring himself to walk away easily, as if he still didn’t trust me. His tightly furrowed brows showed that he didn’t believe me.

Because he had been crying so miserably just a moment ago, the corners of his eyes were still red. Even if he stared at me suspiciously like that, it wasn’t scary at all.

“I don’t even have anyone to tell.”

“Really?”

If he was going to make a call like that, he should’ve checked properly whether there were people around. Because of him, my tears had dried right up. Even when it was hard enough for me to get my own feelings under control, now I also had to reassure him, and that made me feel stifled too.

“Yeah. I don’t have any friends.”

Ryu Eun-seok’s eyes narrowed. It was clear he didn’t understand what I meant.

“Why… don’t you have friends?”

So he was probably looking at me with pity, forgetting his own situation.

“Because it’s bothersome.”

I was so extremely introverted that I felt comfortable only when I did everything alone. Rather than wandering around in a group in front of the school while exchanging meaningless conversations, eating alone in a corner of the student cafeteria while watching panda videos was the extent of what my stamina could handle.